Month: May 2017

News

Do you keep up on current events?  Do you watch “the news”?  I have to say a lot of times I am oblivious to what may be going on in the world, but I feel like I have some good reasons for it.

Sadly, it seems like the news is mostly negative.  It is all about what is not going well and what is wrong.  It includes tragedy and violence and controversy.  And, while I realize there might be a time and place for hearing about these events, I don’t think it should take up a lot of the news.  A lot of this can be upsetting and can make people feel helpless.  Can’t the news inform and empower people?  That probably does happen, but I don’t see it very much.  Until I start noticing a change in the tone of most of the news I will probably keep avoiding it.

Next, I don’t necessarily have a lot of extra time to watch and/or consume the news.  I am living my life – working, parenting, volunteering, and enjoying time with friends and family.  Most of the time I don’t feel like there is room for the news in my life.

Now, I admit there are some reasons why keeping up on current events can be a good thing.  However, for me, the cons outweigh the pros most of the time here.  I know I risk not being informed about a major event, but if it is important enough I will likely hear it from someone I interact with anyway.

How about you?  What are your thoughts on the news?  Do you find it empowering or upsetting or something in between?  Do you feel it is worth your time, or do you want to change how you interact with the news?  I hope you take some time to think about what role the news plays in your life, and if it is a role you want to change.

Roll With It

This last weekend was very busy for me – it included some events as well as visiting some friends and family.  I am a little tired from it, but it wasn’t that bad, and I think I know why.  It was a weekend where I actually just “rolled with it” and didn’t spend time thinking about what else needed to be done.  Instead of thinking about where I thought we should be and when that should happen, I just let it go.  I just lived.  Instead of doing I was being.  What a great way to lose some of the tension and expectation.  What a great way to enjoy a weekend!

What made this weekend less stressful for me?  I think a couple of things helped.  First, a regular meditation practice continues to help me focus on the present instead of thinking about all of the things that need to be done.  This is definitely still a work in progress, but I notice little improvements here and there, this past weekend being one of them.  Focusing on the present helps you to worry less about the future.  It also can help you to spend less time dwelling on the past.  The second thing that I think helped was getting some exercise early on in the weekend.  My family walked a 5K last Saturday morning, and I think that was a great start to our weekend.  We got some exercise, we got some fresh air, and we got to spend time together as a family.  Lastly, I think spending some time outside was helpful as well.  Nature has some wonderful ways of settling your emotions and giving you things to focus on in the present.

After looking back on this weekend I am thinking we might be on to something – a family walk on Saturday mornings, if possible.  And, based on the goals I have, that may turn into a family jog.  Regardless, I am excited that I may have stumbled upon something that is beneficial to both my family and me.

Multitasking

This week it seems my brain has been on overdrive.  As a result, I have been trying to do multiple things all at once so I can “get things done”.  Does that sound familiar to anyone else?  Most of time I just do it and move on, but this week it seems to be different.  How?

All of this multitasking seems to have come with a major price tag on my sleep and health.  I just feel tired all of the time, and I have been sleeping in all week.  That means that I have been skipping my morning workout and downtime too.  I rationalize that I will multitask and work out and get some other things done during the day too, but that has not been happening.  Clearly, multitasking is not working for me this week, and in reality I need a better plan for dealing with my brain being on overdrive, no matter when that is.

If you read anything about multitasking, you know it is actually not a great thing.  Research has shown that your brain can only do so much, so if you try to focus on several things at once, each thing will not get your full attention.  I think a lot of us pride ourselves on our ability to multitask, but it really doesn’t do us much good.  The key seems to be the ability to focus on one thing until a certain stopping point or completion, and then move on to the next thing.  Easier said than done, of course, but this is where meditation can be helpful.  If you take the time and focus to meditate, that can help you focus on one thing in other parts of your day.  That is not the only answer to multitasking, but it is something I am working on to help me focus on one thing at a time.

How about you?  Do you feel like you are always multitasking?  How does it make you feel?  Would you rather not multitask?  If so, how can you begin to change your multitasking ways?

Abundance

This might be a short post today, which is funny considering that I wanted to touch on the concept of abundance.  However, lately it has been fairly obvious to me that I mostly think of my life from a place of scarcity – not enough time, not enough money, etc.  Is that even really true?  Or, is there any way to prove it?  What if I changed it around and thought that there was enough time, enough money, enough of everything?  Would I make different choices?  Would I spend my time differently?  Would I spend my money differently?

Now of course, I’m not necessarily supporting the idea that “everything will take care of itself” and the world will just give you everything that you need.  If you have ever dealt with mental illness or any other illness in any way I am sure that doesn’t ring true to you.  Life still has to be managed, but what I am talking about here is more of a mental outlook.  Thinking that there will be enough time to get something done.  Thinking that there will be a way to pay for something.  Thinking that the world and people are with you instead of against you.

Would it be better to have hope and then be disappointed, or be disappointed from the beginning?  The answer is up to you.

Without You

As I write this post, we are celebrating an important milestone in my family’s life.  I am not going to go into the details, but for me it is a very big deal and a very beautiful moment in time.  However, I am still at a point in grieving my dad that I can’t have a great moment without thinking about him.  I know he is here with us, but it is not in the way I want.  I wonder if I will ever have any big moments in my life again without having that tinge of sadness.  That feeling of how different and/or better it would be if he was physically here to see it.  That disappointment that a beautiful moment has to involve yet another time of grieving for a loss.

But on the flip side, do I truly want to have these moments without thinking about him?  Even though he is not physically here, does it still make a difference that I acknowledge him on these occasions?

I certainly don’t have the answers here, and what I do come up with may change from day to day.  However, today, it seems that thinking of Dad on big occasions is a good thing.  Because even though I may feel some sadness, every time it seems to get a little easier.  I know he is there, somewhere, but I am not so great at sensing beyond the concrete objects and people around me.  And, while I may not get to a point where there is absolutely no sadness, it is important to me that Dad is included in some way.  Besides, I would rather allow myself to feel and have these thoughts than try to ignore them.  So, here I am, grieving and celebrating at the same time, and actually, doing both simultaneously is probably a bigger part of life than I might think.

Temptation

Over the last few days it seems that I have had to try very hard to stay focused and on task.  It seems like there is temptation everywhere – the temptation to eat less healthy food, the temptation to not return emails, the temptation to sleep in and not exercise – it feels like almost everything is a conscious chore to make sure I am doing what I think is the right thing to do.  Will the world end if I eat poorly, ignore emails, and skip exercise?  Of course not, but these are important items to me that also potentially have long term gains and consequences.  While I may not feel like doing many of them lately, I know that deep down these are things I want to do.

I guess I could give myself credit for pretty much doing these things this week despite feeling the temptation not to do so.  Some days, that is more than enough.  But how do I ultimately overcome some of these temptations with automatically doing the right thing and not having to wrestle with the temptation itself?  Is that even possible?  Is temptation just a part of life?  I tend to think so, but unfortunately I do not have the answer to this one.

However, there are things I know I can do to make the temptations less of a presence in my day.  I can go to bed early enough that getting up early to exercise isn’t a big deal.  I can wear some or all of my workout clothes to bed so I can just get up and go.  I can keep unhealthy food out of our house.  Sure, all these things are easier said than done, but the nice part is I can plan for some temptations, because for me I know they will come my way.  How about you?  Can you anticipate some temptations that come your way?  Can you think of ways to help avoid them (assuming you want to avoid them)?  Temptations will probably be around most of the time, but there are ways to make it easier.

Soul Searching

These days, I can be a pretty restless woman.  I am constantly trying to figure out what is best for me and how I can get there.  Whether it is fair to or not, I use my dad’s passing as an excuse.  After his death I am constantly nagging about how life is too short not to do what you enjoy and love.  Of course, that doesn’t always work with paying the bills and enjoying a comfortable lifestyle.  I sometimes get frustrated that I can’t just be happy where I am, and I wonder if I am the only one who feels that way.

Lately, I can’t shake the constant battle cry in my head that I am not living my values.  My life does not truly align with what I find most important in this world.  I am not going to get into specific details at this point, but what I do know is that I am going to start doing some deeper soul searching to figure out what I want.  What is important to me?  What truly are my values?  What changes can I make in my life so that I am more fully living out those values?  These are some big questions that I honestly haven’t looked at for awhile, and luckily I now have the chance to do so.

Depending on where you are and what is happening in your life, maybe you don’t have the time to go through these questions.  However, perhaps you can look at one of them to make you more aware of what is important to you.  The answers to these questions can change over time as well, so it may also be a matter of redefining some values you already have.  Whatever you do, I hope you can make some time to reflect on some of these questions.

Stepping Out

Although it has now been awhile, I took some time off during the middle of one of my work days for a NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) event.  The event itself was great, and I actually felt like I had done something important during that time as well.  I am not going to get into the details of the event on this current post, but today I wanted to focus on how good it can be to step out of your regular routine (that is, assuming you have a regular routine).

For some reason, I always feel surprised when this happens, but in hindsight this almost always seems to be the case.  Breaking up your regular routine can be so rewarding.  For me, I think it is easy to feel like I am doing the same things day in and day out.  I have days where I wonder what might pop up and make it different, but I don’t always notice or take the time to determine what is special about each day.  I think stepping out of your regular routine can also change your perspective and open your mind.  Once I’ve done something different from the usual (vacation, take the day off, take a long lunch break, etc.) my world seems bigger and better from the very small focus I had before.  For me, it is so easy to get wrapped up in my own little world – changing things up and stepping outside my regular routine can help remind me that the world has so much more than what my brain will limit me to sometimes.

How about you?  Do you feel like you are doing the exact same things day in and day out?  Is there a way you can change up your routine every now and then or more frequently?  To me, breaking up a routine can be refreshing, and I encourage you to take the opportunity to see if doing so inspires you as well.

Courage

At this point in my life I am a very fortunate woman.  I have so many wonderful things going on, and I have the luxury to look deeper and think about how I can improve.  One area that has really been calling to me lately is how I need to actually live my values.  I think about the things I truly value and then look at how I live my life, and it doesn’t really seem to match up.  I’m not completely beating myself up for it, but I am wondering how I can be in more alignment with the two.  This is where courage comes in.

To really live my life and to really live my values I know I have to change some things that go against the status quo.  Honestly I live a very safe and pretty easy life, and I’m not sure that is ok.  What is a life that plays it safe?  Again, I am not completely upset by it, but I know I could be doing better.  Of course, here I start thinking about how I ultimately would like to see my life, and it is overwhelming.  How could I possibly shake up my life, especially when others are affected by it?  Do I have the courage to even more forward towards this more aligned life?

As scary as it may be, I am guessing I do have some amount of courage in me.  I have the power to move forward, and it doesn’t have to involve making big changes all of the sudden.  If I break it down, what small changes can I make today to get to where I want to be?  Luckily, I have been thinking about this for long enough that I do have some smaller ways that I can start with, and to me that is progress.  What about you?  Do you think you lack the courage to do something important to you?  If so, is there a way to break it down or take smaller steps to build up your courage?