As I write this entry, we are almost at 7 years since my dad became a victim of suicide. It has almost become a tradition that I reflect on this every year, and this time is no exception. Let’s get to it.
As with every year that has passed since my dad’s death, there have been some major life events that have went on without him. Thinking about my life alone, I have switched jobs, and I just had a surgery. I have also went on several trips and have gotten to see and learn more about the world. Casting the net even wider, my dad also has a new granddaughter this year, and I can only imagine how much he would have loved holding his third grandchild.
There are the big events, and then there are all the little things that make up our lives. There has been a lot of laughter and some tears. Some disagreements, and a lot of hugs and kisses. Some days have been beautiful, others sad, but many times I catch myself wondering what my dad would have said if he had been here to see it all.
If there is anything different about this year, it is how this day has sort of snuck up on me this time – usually, once July hits I am thinking about his suicide more, but that hasn’t been the case. I don’t think that changes much, but it is different. I also seem to be in a phase where I can’t stop listening to Phil Collins, an artist that I listened to a lot with my dad. I guess listening to Phil Collins makes me think I am hanging out with my dad again.
Overall, and as I would have suspected, 7 years does not make the grief any less. It still sucks, and I will continue to carry that sadness with me. I miss you Dad, and I love you.