Month: June 2017

I have been up for about an hour already this morning.  One of the first things I did was exercise, and today included a “high intensity interval training” workout.  A lot of people have heard of this, which is also known simply as “HIIT”.  Regardless of what you call it, it certainly lived up to its name – my heart was pumping, and it felt like it was high intensity to me.

As I finished the workout, I started thinking about the term “high intensity”, and I started to realize that it seems to describe my life right now.  The last few weeks have been very busy, and if you have read my last few posts, you know this is understandably so.  However, I began to think that this “high intensity” can only last so long.  “High intensity” can be great for short intervals, just like in the exercise workout, but it does not seem all that healthy for sustained periods of time.

Of course, the question becomes, how do I ease into a less intense schedule?  That is what I have challenged myself to think about today.  Of course, I think some of the activity will naturally slow down because the last few weeks have not been typical.  But, this seems like a good time to reflect on my life.  Are there activities I need to say no to?  Are there activities I need to do less of?  What are my priorities and what can be left out if there isn’t enough time?  When and where does down time fit in?  What makes sense for my family?  I am sure I could ask even more questions, but I think this is a good start.

One thing I do know, however, is that I believe everyone needs time for rest.  There has to be time to just “be” and not have to worry about getting something done.  I know my days are better when I find this time, and I hope you can find some too.

I have spent several posts talking about different topics related to grief, and I am going to spend at least one more entry on it.

One of the things that I really struggle with when someone important to you dies is how quickly it seems like the rest of the world just moves on.  Here you are, trying to make sense of the death, trying to make sense of the world, trying to make sense of anything, and it seems like everyone around you is living like nothing ever happened.  It makes me worry that others are not taking the time to grieve and mourn like I am.  It can be a very sad way of thinking.

What I have to remember, though, is that everyone grieves differently.  And, everyone grieves for different people or relationships.  After all, how many people do I know that have lost someone, and they probably couldn’t understand why people like me continue to move on with life like nothing ever happened?  That perception can go both ways.

I think the key here is compassion, and what I am talking about is only one small part of compassion.  It includes accepting where you are in your grief process and also understanding that others might be in a different place in their grief.  Looking at the bigger picture, everyone you interact with probably grieves certain things or people, so in some ways, we are really all in the same boat.  I am using this situation as a reminder to be compassionate to everyone, because I do not know what grief they carry with them.  I have to get better at remembering that the feelings I have may be my own, but in general they are feelings that other people have too.  And, that alone can also help in processing grief.

In my last entry, I shared some of my thoughts on grief.  In this entry, I want to touch on a tangent of that, which I am calling comfort.  To me, comfort includes things and experiences that make me feel better and/or let me express any emotions I am currently having.  At this point, I am not judging my list of comforts, but here are some that I use: watching comedy or anything funny, listening to music, walking, exercising, sleeping, or eating.  For the most part, this list seems ok to me, but I am trying to work on the comfort eating part, since I feel that emotional eating is probably not healthy for me.

There are probably many more things I could list that bring me comfort, as well as others that help to comfort others.  These can include spending time with others, going to church, getting out in nature, dancing, painting, creating, and the list goes on.  As you can imagine, comfort comes in many forms, but my hope is that everyone finds comfort in activities that are healthy for them.  While it seems obvious as I write it, people can turn to harmful things for comfort, and that can lead to even more issues.

Regardless of what healthy types of comfort you choose, I hope you also make the time for them.  Sometimes it can be a challenge to take the time for yourself and allow yourself any comfort.  Some people also use “busy ness” as a way to avoid taking any time to feel the emotions that they have.  I truly think it is important to find your comforts and use them when needed.  Even the stresses of everyday life make is necessary to find comfort on a regular basis.  What do you do to help bring comfort into your life?

At this point in my blog, I tend to write entries a few weeks ahead of when they are posted.  This morning’s entry will probably not show up online for awhile, but it will be short.  As of the date I wrote this, my mother in law passed away unexpectedly yesterday.  Right now, there are really no words to describe what is going on in my family.  And so, another grieving process begins.

This week has been very different from what I expected.  Instead of a “typical” week for my family, my husband has been away for other family issues, which I hope do improve.  However, this has left me as a single parent for the week, and I have to say that it has been interesting.

By the very nature of what unfolded I was not prepared for this week, meaning that I did not plan on being the only parent around.  I can parent on my own, but I usually prefer to know about it ahead of time and plan accordingly.  And, there are so many other caveats here – there is only one child, it hasn’t been that many days so far, my child is healthy, and for the most part everything else is going alright.  I also have my mom available to help, which has been instrumental in helping me keep my previous commitments.  I honestly probably have about the most perfect set up for being a single parent.

That being said, I am still dragging!  Having to do almost everything is a lot of work, and again, I don’t feel like I really have that much to do.  So, the whole point I want to make here is much respect for the single parents out there.  I know how you have to do what needs to be done, but wow, it’s a lot.  I don’t know how I would do It long term on my own.  Of course, I would if I had to, but having another parent is looking pretty luxurious right now.  And to think there was a time before I met my husband that I thought I could start a family on my own.  Again, possible I know, but I am so glad I have someone to share it with.  Regardless, I have a newfound respect for single parents and all that they accomplish.

Last weekend I was visiting my old college town.  I am not going to get into the reason why, but it is always an interesting feeling when I go back.  I miss it, yet I am also glad that I still don’t live there, because I know my time there was for college.  I don’t think I could live there again – for some reason it would just feel weird, like I had never grown up and started my post-college life.   Of course, you can “never say never”, but it seems that if I have any say I would not live there again.  But I do like visiting for several reasons, one of which is the inspiration I get from it.

It may seem funny that I would be inspired by a place that I would not plan to live in again, but I actually think that is the reason why I am inspired by it.  If I lived there all of the time, I would not be as inspired, it would just become a part of daily life.  So, it is the being away and visiting that inspires me.  I imagine it probably feels this way in most college towns, but what inspires me about my old college town is how there always seems to be so many new ideas floating around.  It is a place where things are being discovered and researched.  It is a place where innovation is actually being acted upon.  This really is not surprising – I’m sure I just generalized every college town.  But, since this was my town for a period in my life, I remember that feeling of starting a new year or semester.  The promise of learning new insights and advancing my knowledge.  I loved the sense of possibility and potential, and that is what still inspires me today.  Of course, I get inspiration from other people, places, and things, but this is something that has stood out because of my recent visit.

How about you?  What places inspire you?  What people or things?  Inspiration can be a wonderful thing in helping to see the potential and possibility in your life.