After my previous entry, it probably is no surprise that I would write about grief. Grief can be so complex and bring with it so many emotions and thoughts. There is no way I could sum up grief in one blog entry, especially since it can mean something different to everyone. However, I will give you my brief thoughts on grief.
To me, grief is always with me. It may take on different meanings and forms, but I am always grieving. This may sound very sad, but I also feel that I am always feeling some type of happiness too. They go together – happiness and grief. It seems weird, but I truly think you carry them both with you at all times. Of course, this implies that I do not agree with the idea that grief happens in these nice pretty stages – like it is some kind of linear process that results in the end result of “closure”. “Closure” is a dangerous concept in my book. While I think that you may experience each of these stages, I think the how and when is different for everybody. Grief is not the same process for everyone.
Then, in terms of working with grief, I think the most important thing is to meet people where they are in their grief process. Platitudes are not helpful here. Neither is trying to make someone find closure or speed up the grieving process towards some unattainable conclusion. Most of the time just being there is all that is required, and you might be amazed at how much comfort can come from that simple act.
How about you? How would you define grief? My hope is that you question what role grief plays in your life, if at all. Maybe you don’t grieve for anything, and that is your choice. However, maybe you realize that grief can last forever, but still find a way to live with it.