Maybe it’s the books I’ve read or listened to lately, but it seems like I have been hearing about perfectionism a lot. As most of us know, perfectionism is not healthy. It can lead to burnout and stress, and that can be just the tip of the iceberg. We all know perfectionism is bad, but yet a lot of us struggle with it anyway. Another thing about perfectionism is that is can be applied to any part of life, and that includes caregiving.
If you have or do care for someone with depression, do you try to be the “perfect caregiver”? Do you try to spend all of your time with the person so they might feel less alone? Do you take them to every appointment or therapy session? Do you give them any medicine they may take? Do you try to create an environment that takes away any potential people, places, or things that might make them feel worse? Do you wonder why they are suffering instead of you? Do you worry about that person constantly, thinking that if they aren’t happy, you shouldn’t be either?
Those are just some examples, and your idea of being the “perfect caregiver” may look very different. But, my concern here is that as a caregiver, we might try to be everything to a depressed person, and that is not an ideal situation.
I truly believe that thoughtful caregivers do the best they can with the resources they have. After all, caregivers are human too, and there really is no perfectionism around where humans are.
So, if you are a caregiver, don’t worry about doing it all. Do the best you can with what you have, and be sure to take care of yourself too. We don’t need perfection, we need you as you are.