Dawn_2ol6, Author at Dr. Dawn, The Suicide Prevention Pharmacist

Suicide Survivor Day

As I write this entry, we are getting closer to Thanksgiving. This means that we are also close to another date that has taken on a new meaning in my life over the last 5 or so years. That day is International Survivors of Suicide Day, which is always held on the Saturday before Thanksgiving. The name of the day pretty much gives away the fact that it is a day for survivors of suicide to remember the victims of suicide. Sadly, this is a day that is being observed by more and more people every year.

While for a few years I actually attended scheduled events for the day, over the last few years I have not done so. But, regardless, it is yet another reminder of what my family has lost. Although not the only one I have lost, I definitely think about my dad the most on this day.

What I have really been thinking about lately with my dad is all of the earthly things he has not been here for. I have been saddened thinking about how my dad would have loved spending time with my husband. In fact, I joke that I would have had to talk to my dad about making sure I had time to spend with my husband! I feel that my dad would have had him shooting, hunting, and fishing all of the time. Then, with my son, I can’t even imagine. He would be at our house all of the time and would want nothing more than to hang out with his grandson. I get sad thinking of how fun it would have been to see them together.

And so, the loss of my dad (or the loss of anyone) is not really a one time event. It is something that continues to bring you loss at different times and in different ways. International Survivors of Suicide Day is another reminder of that loss, but it is also a way to help give some meaning to it. So, if you are survivor of suicide I encourage you to look into this day and find out more.

Cryotherapy

Not too long ago, my husband and I participated in a silent auction. One of the items up for auction was some free cryotherapy sessions, and we put a bid on that item because it sounded interesting. We won the sessions, and now we have finally had the chance to try it out.

To begin, cryotherapy is essentially “cold therapy”. Very cold temperature exposure is used for potential therapeutic benefits, and although I don’t know much about the entire area, I know that there are different types of cold therapy out there. For example, I have heard about people taking really cold showers or immersing themselves in ice water baths. And, while some of that sounds horrible to me, what we did was different.

Our session was pretty short compared to other therapeutic sessions. While massages, acupuncture, and so on might take 30 to 90 minutes, our cryotherapy sessions were 2 minutes. Our understanding was that the maximum you could work up to was 3 minutes, and after the session I could see why that was the case. Basically, we stood in a tank (our heads were above it) while cold air surrounded us. And it was cold – not painful, but it really took my breath away several times. And, as I discuss this I want to mention that there are many contraindications for this therapy, so it certainly is not for everyone. Also, even if you are ok to try it it may not be of interest to you.

My husband and I are going to try it again, but I don’t know if I will do any more after that. I feel pretty wimpy about cold, so even with such a short exposure I’m not sure how often I would want to do it. However, I encourage everyone to at least learn about cryotherapy and see if it might be beneficial for you.

Simplifying

Much earlier in the year I wrote about organizing. In that writing I discussed how each month of the year we were going to pick a few rooms to focus on, so by the end of the year we had at least went through everything once. So far, that is going ok, but I am feeling that sometimes I am just going through the motions. Am I missing something that would make organizing more purposeful?

Then, I began to think about it. Organizing is not the same thing as paring down or getting rid of things. You can have a ton of stuff, and you can have it organized very well so it is easy to get to and is nicely stored for safe keeping. But, until you start eliminating things, or processes, or unnecessary steps, you are not simplifying. So, a question you have to ask yourself is this: is my purpose to organize what I have, simplify what I have, or both?

Another word that sometimes gets thrown into this topic is minimalism. Like the word implies, it is an idea that you live with less things, less activities, and so on. Minimalism can include simplifying, but if you simplify something it doesn’t have to mean you are a minimalist.

So, after having these thoughts I realized that I am organizing most rooms but I am not getting rid of anything. Organizing can be a good thing, but ultimately I would love to be able to get rid of things that we don’t need. I think that we have tried to do that when we are going through rooms, but it doesn’t seem to happen very much. I am hoping that as we move forward we can focus on eliminating stuff, and then organizing what remains. To me, that would make for a more efficient use of our time and resources.

Holidays

As I write this entry, it is the beginning of November. Halloween has just happened, and the next major holiday for most of us is Thanksgiving. However, the Hallmark Channel started playing non-stop Christmas movies on October 27^th (October 27^th!) and radio stations are also playing Christmas music. I had a friend tell me that grocery stores were putting out Christmas candy on Halloween, probably because the main Trick or Treat night in the area was on October 30^th. To me, every year it seems that people want to start celebrating Christmas earlier and earlier, and honestly, it drives me nuts.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love the fact that we celebrate Christmas and Jesus’s birth. That is a really big deal for us as Christians. However, Christmas is a day. And, a Christmas season is ok, but how long does that really need to be? I tend to not get in the spirit until after Thanksgiving, and honestly even that may be too long. I suppose it is an individual choice as too how long and how often you celebrate certain things, but the question must be asked: if you celebrate Christmas for over 2 months, how special can it be?

And, another important question if you live in the United States – what about Thanksgiving? I am certainly biased here, as Thanksgiving may be my favorite holiday. But this frenzy for Christmas overshadows what to me is a beautiful holiday. Taking the time to actually reflect on life and think about what you are thankful for? Yes, please! We should probably have multiple Thanksgivings every year! Of course, this is where a gratitude practice can come in, but hopefully at least once a year people are thinking about what might be going well for them.

So, I challenge everyone to slow down and not rush into Christmas. Whenever you want to jump into it, it will be there. Don’t forget to enjoy things that are happening now and not in a few months.

Witch Hunt

I am writing this entry right around Halloween, so it seems fitting that I should talk about the “witch hunt”. In our trip to the Northeast a few weeks ago we made a stop in Salem, Massachusetts, which most people have heard about because of the Salem Witch Trials in 1692. Although the town is now basically a suburb of Boston, it was definitely doing its best to promote its history, especially during the month of October. Unfortunately, this well-known history is rather sad, considering around 20 to 25 people lost their lives because of the trials.

Ever since we have been in Salem I have been thinking a lot about the trials and about witch hunting in general. I have read about witch hunting through thousands of years, and I am saddened but also incredibly intrigued about why they happened. There are, of course, many theories out there – changes in the religious, political, or economic climate at the time, questions about mental illness in the parties involved, and a need for control by certain individuals are just a few of the ideas put out for consideration.

All of these theories are interesting, but to me the mental illness question stands out because of my interest in it. Were any of the people accused of witchcraft mentally ill? Were any of the victims and/or accusers of witchcraft mentally ill? Of course, it is hard to look back and understand how it would have felt to live in those times, but part of me thinks that some of these witch hunts involved some type of mental illness that was not understood at the time. Of course, today we use “witch hunt” for a lot of things, and unfortunately some people still suffer as a result of them. Are the mentally ill still targeted and/or a part of the accusations? My guess is yes, and we need to better understand why and how it happens. In general, it would be amazing to get rid of all types of “witch hunts”, but I especially would like to make sure that a person’s mental well-being is taken into consideration of the events at hand.

Public Radio

In my last entry I talked about the appreciation I feel when I come home. I also noted several things I miss when I am away from home. One thing I would add to that list is satellite radio. Whether it is in the car or on the internet, I am a huge fan of satellite radio. There are so many great parts about it – no commercials, and there is such a variety of channels that you are bound to find a station that you like. On this trip, we did not have satellite radio, and there was a definitely a void there for me. However, we did stumble upon something else that now has me intrigued – public radio.

National Public Radio or NPR – something that I have admittedly shunned in the past because it seemed too old and too classy for me. Talk radio has not really been my thing in the past, and to me NPR was at the top of that category. However, as we made our way through New Hampshire and Vermont last week, we started listening to Vermont and New Hampshire Public Radio as well as National Public Radio. And, as weird as it sounds, I have to admit I was intrigued. I haven’t looked into it yet, but it seemed to me that public radio was a lot of podcasts put together. Of course, public radio was around before podcasts, but I am liking the idea that I can learn something from public radio. I am also thinking that I can find NPR on my satellite radio as well. Turns out I might really enjoy something that I haven’t taken the time to actually find out what it is.

I am excited that I might have stumbled upon something interesting and new to me. Does that ever happen to you? I hope so, because it is definitely one of the nicer events that can happen in our lives. Here’s to more interesting discoveries for everyone!

Home

As I write this entry, my husband, son, mother, and I have just returned from an 8 night, 9 day road trip across a lot of New England. To be exact, here are the states we visited: Pennsylvania, Delaware, New Jersey, New York, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, Maine, New Hampshire, and Vermont. It was a lot to see and a lot to do, but no doubt it has created a lot of new memories for us to share. Of course, soon it will be time to get back to reality, but for now there is this little precious time where it is just nice to be home.

Home. Sometimes it seems like a great thing, other times it doesn’t. But, for me, home is usually pretty awesome to me after living out of a suitcase for awhile. I miss being able to stretch out and have everything in its place (well, as much as you can for having a toddler in the house). I miss sleeping in my own bed. I miss my toddler sleeping in his own bed and having his space. I miss the sense of belonging I have when I’m at home. I am sure there are more things I could mention, but you get the idea. Things that I seem to take for granted when it seems like the weeks or months are pretty much the same. I get a whole new appreciation of home when I leave it.

How about you? “Home” can mean different things to different people, and sadly, home may not always be a happy place for some. However, if home is a good thing for you, what are the things you love about it? What are the things you miss when you are gone? Are there ways you can further appreciate what home gives you? I know that today this last question is definitely something I plan to consider.

The Meaning of Marriage

Lately, I have been reading and thinking about marriage. I am by no means an expert on it, but I have been married 2 ½ years now, so at least I can say that. Of course, I see some people saying that quantity, especially at 2 ½ years, doesn’t mean much – how about the quality? For most of us, I would assume that when it comes to marriage the quality piece is more important to people than the quantity side. But what does that mean?

That is one of the topics I have been thinking about. What makes a good marriage? What makes it last AND makes it meaningful? Do we even have an agreed upon definition for quality here?

My assumption is that there are some generalities, but again, that is an assumption. Overall, I think what a marriage means varies both between and among couples. Do I view my marriage as something that adds to my happiness? Do I attribute some meaning to my marriage? Do I look to my marriage to fulfill certain needs and wants? How about my spouse? Does he or she have similar or conflicting views on what the marriage means to him or her? Admittedly, these are some deeper questions that I am not sure I have spent much time on – not that I don’t have deep feelings about it, but have I ever really thought about the meaning that I assign to my marriage?

I find these questions intriguing, and I would like to spend some time reflecting on them. Of course another caveat is that I am sure the answers may change over time – marriage, as far as I see it, is a dynamic thing.

How about you? If you are married, how do you feel about it? What does it mean to you? What does it mean to your spouse? If you are not married, what meaning do you assign to it? I challenge you to look deeper and consider what this relationship means from your point of view.

Music Therapy

Within the last week of writing this entry, the musician Tom Petty died. This is not the first, nor will it be the last musician whose passing has left me with some sadness. It is definitely not on the level of losing a family member or someone close to me, but it creates this weird feeling that does bring me down somewhat. Even though I don’t know any famous musicians on a personal level, there are quite a few that feel like old friends because of their music. Their music helped shape my history – the good times, the bad times, and everything in between. They are part of the soundtrack of my life.

As a result of his passing, over the last few days I have been listening to some Tom Petty, and it has brought back some great memories of earlier times. And it has been nostalgic. There is some sadness there, but there is also some happy reflections on a simpler time. A time of my youth. And, there is also the promise of sharing this with my child, which in fact we have already started to do.

There is something about music that is therapeutic to me, and I am sure a lot of people would agree. There is even an official music therapy practice that is used to help treat people. What is it about music that can heal? I am sure there are many textbooks and papers to explain, but personally I don’t have a great answer. I just feel it, and because I feel it, I know it. It is one of those few things in life that I just know. Musicians unfortunately come and go, but the music they leave behind can heal and transform. They can also contribute to the soundtracks of many lives, and that can be therapy for so many of us.