Author: Dawn_2ol6

CD

Do you remember CDs (aka Compact Disks)?  Do you still own any?  Do you actually play any CDs that you still have?  I have to say that even though most music is digital these days, I am still a big fan of the CD.  I also really enjoy cassette tapes and records.  There is something about just holding the music in your hands that sometimes makes it seem more real.

Right now, I am taking some CDs that are new to me and ripping them onto my computer so I have a digital copy of them.  Why do I do this if I like CDs so much?  I do it because sometimes I will wear out CDs from playing them so much.  Also, it makes sense that the digital files aren’t as bulky to carry around when you are on the go.  Even though I have to go through this process to make my music more portable I still enjoy buying and playing CDs.

Doing this also makes me think of my dad.  Back when I was little, he took all of his records and recorded them onto cassette tapes.  After CDs came out, he essentially just bought the CD version of the records he had.  So, at one point, I remember my dad having 3 formats for the same music.  Instead of thinking it was a waste, I thought it was pretty cool.  This was a guy who loved music so much, and today I still share that love with him.  So, I will be buying CDs as long as I can.  But, I probably will also rip them, because even though I love the past, I still try to live in today.

How about you?  Do you have a favorite type of music format?  If so, what can you play and enjoy today?

Perfectionism

Would you describe yourself as a perfectionist?  Today, I would say that I am a recovering one.  I am not sure if it is anything I will ever completely be free of, but I like to think that my perfectionist tendencies have decreased and continue to do so.  And, while there are those who might think perfectionism is something to strive for, I am posting today about how dangerous I think perfectionism can be for your wellness.

To start off, what does it mean to be “perfect” anyway?  Who decides?  You?  The people in your life?  That is already a check mark against perfectionism – if everyone thinks it means something different it might be hard to attain.

Next, perfectionism can take up a lot of time and decrease productivity and efficiency.  If you are paying attention to every little detail and making it “perfect” in your mind, how do you ever get anything done?  Also, what else are you missing out on when you work on making something perfect?

Then, how does this process make you feel?  Do you get a sense of accomplishment?  Or, does it never seem good enough?

Lastly, if everything is perfect, do you learn anything from it?  A lot of times the greatest learning comes from mistakes we make along the way – not that we shouldn’t do our best, but there is a line between completing a task and trying to make it perfect.

Overall, to me it seems that perfectionism has many down sides, and I hope the questions above have you thinking that perfectionism is not the answer.  Give your best with what you have, but let go of that perfectionist ideal.  In reality, life is messy, and it is certainly not perfect for anyone.   Spend your time working on a life that is meaningful, messy, and real instead of one that is “perfect” in your mind.

The Plan

Are you a planner?  Do you enjoy looking ahead at the next day, week, month, or year and scheduling events or thinking about what lies ahead?

I am a very big planner.  As long as I can remember, I have always had a planner and/or calendar to keep track of assignments, projects, appointments, and meetings, among other things.  These days, my calendar is electronic and shared with my husband, and to-dos usually end up on a notebook I keep in my purse.  Regardless of how it gets done I secretly enjoy the sense of “keeping it together” with these items.

Lately, however, I am beginning to wonder if I spend too much time planning.  Is that possible?  I think so.  I am wondering how it may take me away from more important things, like family, friends, and just living life.  Maybe I am not missing any major things, but what small things am I missing?  Am I missing playing with my child?  Am I a missing a conversation with my spouse?  Again, probably smaller things, but still important things that make up a day…and a life.  My concern is that in planning so many things I forget to live in the moment.  I forget to just live.  So, one thing I would like to work on is spending less time planning and more time living.  And, I would encourage you to do the same.  Now, I understand some planning is necessary – bills have to be paid, food has to be obtained, children have to get to school, and so on.  What I am asking myself and others is to make sure we are not wasting precious time planning if it is not necessary.  Easier said than done, but I hope to make it a reality in my life.  How about you?  Do you feel the need to cut back on your planning?  What steps can you take today to live more and plan less?

Dreams

While I wasn’t planning to write about dreams this morning, I just woke up from a very vivid one, so I changed my topic for today.  As you can tell, I am talking about the dreams we have while we are sleeping.  There are also the dreams that we consciously think about and hopefully pursue during the day, but that is a topic for another entry.  Right now, I am wondering why we dream and why some of them seem so real.

The dream I just had was a little scary.  I was working at the office of one of my older jobs, and for some reason my husband was working there too.  I happened to look out a window, and all of the sudden I see this huge, wide tornado develop right before my eyes.  It looks a little too close to comfort for me, so I start yelling tornado and finding my way to a safer spot.  The big tornado disappears just as quickly as it came, but other, smaller tornadoes seem to be developing just as quickly as the first one.  What really struck me was how I profoundly felt the dream – I felt truly scared and in danger.  Luckily, of course, I woke up, but I could still feel the fear I was having in the dream.  It has definitely set a weird tone for my morning.

Supposedly, dreaming is a part of sleeping, but does everyone remember a dream every once in awhile?  Are there people who don’t remember any dreams?  Why do I feel like I know I am dreaming sometimes, but other times they seem so real?  Do dreams have meaning?  If so, what meanings can be attached to them?  Although fascinating, this is a world I do not know much about.  There are books on what dreams mean, but I think that is an individual choice to decide what (if any) meaning you place on what you dream.  It is definitely an area that could benefit from more understanding, and until then, a lot of us are left to wonder about our nightly dreams.

The Wave

Some of the days I experience can be so hard to explain.  Yesterday was definitely one of those days.  By all accounts, it was a great day – another beautiful summer day that I got to spend with people that I love.  But, the whole day I was plagued with waves of sadness and thoughts that I am not good enough.  I am not a good enough wife, a good enough daughter, a good enough mother, a good enough sister, and on and on.  I also felt like my current life didn’t have a lot of meaning to it – that I was just going through the motions of a day.  I was scared that I will feel dead inside if I continue along like this.  I know, some pretty heavy thoughts for a beautiful summer day.

Right now, it is early morning.  Will I feel the same today?  I’m not sure.  But, I have had days like this before, and luckily for me it always seems to last for a few days at most.  From what I understand, having days like this and thoughts like this is pretty common and pretty normal.  However, it is when these types of days go on for several weeks that it starts becoming a problem that needs professional help.  As I’ve said before, life is a mix of joy and grief.  We have our good days.  We have our bad days.  We have a lot of days in between.  But we carry it all around together.  I don’t thoroughly enjoy my sad days, but they do happen, and I understand that more than likely it will pass.  If they don’t, however, I need to start thinking about getting help.

How about you?  Do you have sad days?  What typically happens in your experience?  If the sad days continue to last, do you have a plan for getting help?  I encourage you to think about how you plan to deal with these scenarios if they should happen to you.

You Are What You Project

There are many things in life that I simply cannot retain – things that always seem to hit me as a new concept, but when I think about it I know that I have heard it before.  One of those concepts hit me again today.  That concept is that people are what they project.  Let me explain with an example.

Have you ever had a boss that is very critical of you and what you do?  When you really stop to think about it, what is driving their behavior?  Is it really you, or is it something about them and their history that drives them to behave in this way?  The theory is that it really isn’t about you – it is about them.  The reason they are being overly critical of you is because they are insecure about themselves.  Taking this further with another example – a boss that doesn’t seem to trust you.  Is it really about trusting you or is it because they can’t trust themselves?  When you start thinking about situations in this way, it can definitely make you feel better about how people treat you.

However, there is another side to it.  How do you treat other people?  Are you critical or negative?  Are you friendly or optimistic?  When you look deeper at your behavior towards others, what is your behavior saying about you?  This is the part that can be harder to deal with.

I truly believe that you are what you project.  But for some reason this gets me every time I think about it.  Not a new concept, but it seems like a fresh thought every time it comes around.  Maybe this is not news to you and/or maybe it will stick with you better than it does with me.  However, next time you are questioning your behavior or the behavior of someone else, hopefully you will remember to think about this idea.

Aromatherapy

Have you heard the term “aromatherapy”?  If you haven’t, basically it is like the word would suggest – it is therapy based on smells.  Typically the idea is that they are smells that are relatively pleasant, and they can help to soothe, calm, stimulate, etc.  Lavender, vanilla, and citrus scents are some examples.  A lot of times aromatherapy gets placed together with essential oils, since these can be used for aromatherapy.  To me, essential oils is a somewhat different world.  Depending on what is being done, people will ingest, vaporize/nebulize, or topically apply essential oils.  There may be some overlap with aromatherapy, and it may all be in how you define it, but for me aromatherapy is all about the smelling.

Aromatherapy can be more than using essential oils – there are candles and potpourri, plus there are smells around you that can be soothing.  For me, I love the smell of the ground after it has just started raining.  I also love the smell of Worcestershire sauce.  For many, certain foods have a smell that comforts and/or excites people.  How about you?  What smells do you already notice in your world that elicit a response from you?

I think aromatherapy is an interesting way to help people, especially in regards to emotions or mood.  What a wonderful thought that by smelling something you can feel better or less tense.  To me, that sounds better than taking a pill, if you can avoid it (of course, sometimes medications are necessary).  As far as I know, there are relatively few side effects from aromatherapy, so I encourage you to think about how it might improve your life.  What smells do you like?  Are there some that are soothing to you?  Some that inspire you?  Some that motivate you?  Have fun thinking about how smells can enhance or compliment your day.

Grandparents

On the day that I am writing this entry, it has been exactly 25 years since my Grandma Scott passed away.  Even though I won’t go into the details of how it unfolded from my point of view, I still remember it pretty vividly.  And, although I had lost a grandfather when I was in kindergarten, I didn’t totally understand what it all meant at that age.  I was sad, but I didn’t truly get it.  When my grandma passed away 25 years ago, I got it.  It was really the first major death that I had to process, and of course, it wouldn’t be the last.

I was very close to both of my grandmothers, so losing one was very hard.  I would lose the second grandmother a little over two years later.  Both of them had experienced prolonged illnesses before their passing, so I remember spending time in the hospital and/or long term care with them before they died.  It was some pretty tough stuff for a young girl.  I have spent a lot of my life wondering what they would have thought about my life in high school, college, my working life, getting married, and now having a child.  I feel like they would have been pretty proud, but they would have loved me no matter what I did.  Even to this day I still miss all of my grandparents very much (I also had a grandfather that passed away long before I was even born).

I share some of my background here because I felt that I got to spend a lot of time with my grandparents before they passed away.  After they all died, I have been pretty jealous of those people who still have grandparents.  I also get pretty mad at those who seem to take theirs for granted.  Of course, there may be legitimate reasons why people don’t get along with their grandparents, but assuming that is not the case I encourage you to spend as much time with them as possible.  Don’t take these individuals for granted, and enjoy the time you can spend with them.

Creativity

I seem to be a woman who is interested in a wide variety of topics.  Some areas I know very well, but there are many where I know just a high level overview of the topic.  Sometimes I wonder if I should narrow down my focus and pick a few areas to pursue, but that doesn’t appeal to me.  As long as I don’t feel overwhelmed, why not explore what I can?

My latest interest has been looking at creativity.  I just finished a book on it, and I am currently listening to a college level course on the topic as well.  What I am learning about creativity is fascinating.  A lot of us out there, especially from the scientific and mathematical worlds, would say that we are not creative people.  I know I have touched on this in previous posts, but everyone is creative, and it isn’t totally something you are born with.  Creativity is a skill that can be developed, and that is exciting news for all of us.

The material has also discussed characteristics of creative people and ways to enhance your creativity.  You might be surprised at what it takes to be creative.  And, of course, there is no one right way to do it.  There are many combinations of characteristics and skills that can help you become a more creative individual.

Since there are many ways to be creative, I am not going to make any lists here.  However, some questions remain – in what ways are you creative?  If you don’t feel like you are a creative person, how might you develop this skill?  I hope that no matter what you do in life, you can embrace that idea that you are a creative being.  I also encourage you to examine what you currently do and see where you are already creating something.

Parenting and Patience

For any of you that know me well, you know that patience is not one of my defining characteristics.  It has always been something I have struggled with, and I definitely acknowledge it as a weakness.  Over the last weekend I started to observe how that plays into my parenting, and boy, do I have some work to do.

My son is now at an age where he is getting into everything – which is totally normal.  He is exploring the world around him.  However, there are quite a few of those things that can be dangerous for him to explore, and one of my top jobs as a parent is to keep him safe.  Lately, I find myself saying “no” a lot, and sometimes I notice myself getting annoyed when I have to say “no” about every five seconds.  Surely there is something better than saying “no” all the time, and I really don’t like how I get frustrated.  I know, I am human, but I wish I had more patience with this.  It wasn’t the first time, and I know it won’t be the last.  And, I can’t hinder his exploration and learning with my lack of patience.

So, how to be more patient with my parenting (and in life, for that matter)?  That sometimes feels like my holy grail.  I think meditation and mindfulness can help.  And, while I think it is good for my son to wander and explore everything (with supervision) at this age, I am also thinking about creating more “safe spaces” (such as his crib), where I currently feel good that he will be safe if he stays in that area.  We have some gates up around the house, but maybe we need a few more.  This does not take away my responsibility to supervise him, but it might be a way to keep me from saying “no” over and over again.

Regardless of what happens, this is just one way that parenting is challenging me to be a better person.  It’s not always easy, but I am grateful for the opportunities to improve myself as a mother and as an individual.