Category: General

I try to take the time to reflect on many things in my life at regular intervals.  I ask myself what is working and what is not.  What is worth my time and what is not.  As you can imagine, the answers to some of these questions change from time to time.  Lately, I’ve been reflecting on my blog, and again I’ve decided that I want to try to make some changes.

At first, my blog covered a lot of topics.  Then, at some point, I decided I was going to focus on caregivers of those affected by mental illness.  I think my intentions were good, but if you read my blog you know that I have gone back to writing just about anything, and I have been doing that for quite a while.  Well, I want to try to narrow the focus of my blog again.

What I am going to attempt to do is focus on depression.  As I thought about it, I realized that this condition can definitely fill a blog.  There is a lot of information out there about causes, treatments, and living with depression, and my hope is to bring that information to you.  And, looking at the whole health of someone with depression is important, so I will be talking about physical, mental, social, and spiritual health as it applies in the world of depression.  I envision the blog will be a resource for any caregivers, friends, and connections as well because depression does not just affect the depressed person.  In fact, I’m guessing there are few (if any) people who aren’t touched by depression in some way.

So, I’m hoping you will join me on my changed journey in blogging.  I’m also hoping this will be helpful for everyone, and I look forward to getting started.

As I write this entry, we are right in the middle of winter.  Groundhog Day has just happened, which for me marks the beginning of the downhill slide into spring.  However, this last week has been very trying for many of us in my part of the world – lots of little rounds of snow, lots of slippery roads to drive on and slippery places to walk, cold temperatures, wearing lots of layers of clothing, and lots of snow removal efforts.  Luckily, I haven’t had to do a ton of any of those things, but it is crystal clear that winter is not going anywhere for awhile.

For some of us, winter can be even harder than what I described above.  It can affect your entire mood and not be temporary, but can hang around for the entire season.  Some people may know this as Seasonal Affect Disorder (SAD), and it is a very real thing.  There is the thought that some of it is due to the lower amount of sunlight found in the winter time, however, there are people who experience SAD in the spring, summer, or fall.  Everyone is different.

Treatment for SAD can include light therapy (also known as phototherapy).  Medications and psychotherapy (for example, talk therapy) may also be used, although any treatments must be individualized for each person who may be struggling with SAD.

The key is that no matter if you think you may have SAD or another type of depression, you should get it checked out.  SAD can be just as serious as depression or another mood disorder.  We all have our down days, but if they continue over several days it is important to figure out what may be going on, and I encourage you to seek help if that happens in your life.

The last few days of this week have been full of situations that have required me to be flexible.  Changes in either appointment times or dates, changes to how much time I needed to get my work done, and changes to how many computer programs I have to use to get my daily work completed.  For the most part, I have taken it all in stride.  But, this morning I had apparently reached my limit on being a certain degree of flexible in a specified amount of time.  I wasn’t very nice on the phone to someone, but apparently I just had to let some frustration out.  In hindsight I don’t feel great about it, but it could have been worse.  Also, in my defense, it was the other party that had made a mistake, so it might have been somewhat understandable that I was irritated by it.

Have you ever had those days?  The days were you feel like you have nicely accommodated everyone but yourself?  The days were your understanding has just run out and you got real about your disappointment in the situation?  I hope I’m not the only here, and I doubt that I am.

Of course, the question becomes, can I do better next time?  To me, I think it is always good to strive to behave better, but I am also giving myself some grace here.  I’m not perfect, I’m human.  To think I am going to smile my way through it all and not get irritated is silly, but unfortunately I think a lot of people (especially women) feel that way.  We can only handle so much in a day.  Probably, what I really need to focus on is how to deal with the situations in a nicer way.  You can be irritated and not be mean.  Honesty doesn’t always feel good, but it can really help to ease some of that frustration.  So, the next time your understanding tank is about to spill over, consider how you can be honest about it but not mean.  I truly think that is possible…even if it might take me a lifetime to achieve it!

At the beginning of a new year, there always seems to be a lot of focus on diet and exercise, because this ties in with a lot of resolutions being made.  And, while healthy eating and exercise are important pieces of an overall healthy lifestyle, there are many other components that deserve our attention.  One of those components is sleep.

Like me, I am sure most of us don’t think too much about sleep – we sleep when we can.  However, there is a lot of evidence out there that sleep is just as important to our health as anything else we might think of.  Unfortunately, we live in a world where sleep seems like an inconvenience – something that keeps us from getting more things done.  However, we need to start taking sleep more seriously.

A lack of sleep can lead to impaired judgment and thinking.  That has unfortunately led to vehicular deaths, among other things.  On a less fatal scale, a lack of sleep can also lead to poor performance at work and school.  Another outcome of less sleep is that it disrupts your body’s ability to repair itself, and your brain is unable to store memories as well.  The list goes on, but as you can see, a lack of sleep can contribute to many negative consequences.

So, how do we combat this problem?  Luckily people are beginning to see the risks of less sleep and the benefits of enough sleep.  Instead of looking in awe at the person who seems to work 22 hours a day for days on end, people are being encouraged to sleep around 8 hours a day.  I think this is good news for everyone, because the more we talk about sleep and our health, the more people will hopefully understand that it is a behavior that is just as important as diet and exercise.

How about you?  What are your thoughts on sleep?  Are your thoughts on sleep different when you think about how it affects your health?  I encourage everyone to consider sleep and its role in your overall health.

Today we were helping my mom pick out a new cell phone.  Somehow, in the process of doing that, we ended up getting a new phone for both my husband and me.  I was playing with my son during the majority of this happening, but regardless, I have a new cell phone.  Honestly, part of me is excited.  However, I have also started to worry about cell phones more.

Cell phones have not been a part of my world my entire life, although I started seeing them when I was in middle school.  Our first one was in my family’s minivan and had about 15 minutes of time a month on it – it was strictly for emergencies, if needed.  Of course, we have seen cell phones evolve quite a bit since then, and no doubt they have changed the world.  The things they can do can be pretty amazing – calls, texts, emails, video, audio, pictures – it’s great to have all of that information right in your hand.  Some things have never changed, though, and ultimately I like having a cell phone in case of emergency.  It feels very comforting to know that I could call for help from pretty much everywhere if needed.  So, there are some great things about cell phones, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve started to see some of the downsides.

Some of the negatives are easy to point out – texting while driving, people walking around with their heads down looking at their phones and potentially missing hazards, and a general lack of awareness with phones are some examples.  But, I also worry about how it is affecting our sleep and our attention spans.  I also wonder about how it is affecting time with others and our relationships.  I know it has changed some of these things for me, and it scares me that I could be that unaware.  That being said, I am trying to make an effort to spend less time on the cell phone.  I think all aspects of my health – physical, mental, social, and spiritual – depend on it, and I hope that everyone at least considers how to use cell phones in such a way that benefits them instead of negatively affecting their health.

Lately there have been things that I have ran into that seem overly complicated.  Instructions on how to complete a process at work, advice on parenting, how to publish something, how to sign up for something, running a program on my computer – the list goes on.  Actually, a lot of what I am noticing has probably always been that way, but I am starting to look at it more.  Why is there a need for so much explanation?  Do most of us need all of that detail?  Maybe I am missing something, and I am sure there are exceptions (brain surgery, launching a rocket, etc.) where details are crucial.

Detailed tasks aside, I have also started to notice that the more instructions and the more explanation, the more confusing it tends to be.  Forget about remembering anything, but how do you even retain the key points?  In a world where information is everywhere all of the time, now is a wonderful time to really look at ways to keep it simple if possible.

If you look at some of the best ideas out there (watching some TED talks, for example), you find that the ideas are simple.  Something that makes you think and challenge your currently held beliefs.  Something you can retain and recall at a later time.  Something you can easily share with another person.  To me, there is some real beauty in that simplicity of thought.  And the fact that you can describe it simply makes it all the more powerful.

How about you?  Does it sometimes feel there is way more explanation out there than what you need?  Is there a way to simplify what information you take in?  My hope is that you begin to appreciate the thought that powerful ideas tend to be the simplest ones to explain.

Lately I have started to get more interested in self-defense and making sure I can protect my family.  Ever since my son was born, this interest has grown, because the way I see it, I would feel awful if something happened to him that I could have prevented in some way.  Apparently I didn’t worry about myself that much, but now that I have him it is a whole different story.  However, in order to help him I also need to know how to take care of myself.  Lastly, this led to me deciding that I needed to stop acting like a victim and instead start thinking like an empowered individual.  Not that you ever want bad things to happen, but it feels better knowing that you might have some ideas on how to deal with it if it ever does happen.

Regardless of my reasons, what I am learning is that there is a lot to learn!  I have read a few books on the topic and I have taken a few classes, and it is definitely not a “one and done” thing.  Being prepared to defend yourself and your family takes continual training and practice.  There are a ton of resources available on the subject, so it is important to take a look and consider what will work for you.  Also, you can not anticipate every single scenario that might come up, but you can learn some basics that can help you in any situation.  Again, the key is training and learning.

How about you?  What do you know about self-defense?  Would you like to learn more?  My hope is that you do want to learn more.  Don’t just assume that someone will always be there to come to your rescue.  While that is hopefully the case, be empowered and feel confident knowing you can at least try to take on whatever may come your way.

Today while I was working I received a message from my boss that I needed to update a certain application on my work computer.  I waited until the end of the day to make the update, and I am so glad I did.  I installed the update, and it kept wanting to restart.  The problem was it kept restarting without any way for me to stop it!  I would get signed back on, and then I would have 2 minutes before it would force me to restart again.  It took longer to get signed in than the time I actually had on the computer.  After going through this cycle about 5 times I decided I needed to get some help.

Luckily, I have an IT Help Desk, so I called to explain my problem.  They had me sign on yet again, and while doing so I warned them that they would have about 2 minutes to remote into my computer and look at anything before it forced another restart.  Of course, this time that did not happen.  I was able to successfully get into the updated version of my application and I wasn’t forced to restart again.  Go figure.

Have you ever had that scenario before?  I suspect most of us have.  We waste a lot of time and energy on something, and when we finally give in and ask for help, it suddenly has resolved itself, or it takes someone 2 seconds to figure it out for you.  Why can we be so stubborn and think that we don’t need help?  Why do we waste time and energy on something when we know there are resources available to help?  I think this incident is another reminder that it is ok to ask for help, and that asking for help is better than getting frustrated and delaying what needs to be addressed.  My hope is that you are able to recognize when you need help before it gets to be too much.

Sometimes I look at the world and I wonder why we seem so resistant to changing certain things.  In fact, I would like to call out one of those “things” today, and that is work time.  Before I begin, I understand that there many exceptions to what I will talk about – hospitals, police stations, firefighters, and many others have to be staffed at certain times of the day to make sure there is always coverage.  However, what I want to talk about are those jobs where having 24-7 coverage is not necessary.

A lot of business jobs would fit into this category I think.  Why do we all seem to think that most people need to work 9 to 5 (or 8 to 5 with a lunch or whatever) Monday through Friday?  Does the particular times really matter as long as the work gets done?  What if someone wants to do other things during the day and work in the evening or on weekends?  What if someone is a “night owl” and is more efficient and productive at night?  Why can’t we be more flexible with both our work and our non-work time?  We should also consider more variety and how many hours actually need to be put in every week.  Does it always have to be the same?  As you can see, there are many ways to look at changing work time for the better.

Luckily, there are people that are challenging this same time, same day routine.  My hope is that this message continues to grow and we start seeing more flexibility in our lives.  After all, real life does not just follow a 9 to 5 schedule – illness happens, cars break down, traffic can create delays, kids have unexpected needs during the day – these occur frequently, and we need a better way to adapt to and manage it all.

At the time of writing this entry, my son had ear tubes placed a few days ago.  I was very anxious about it beforehand, because I was worried about my son being scared about what was happening around him and to him.  He is young enough that ear tubes have to be placed under general anesthesia, because he isn’t going to sit still while you stick things in his ears.  I think the beforehand part went somewhat ok, but afterwards was the worst.

The procedure was probably less than 10 minutes, but it wasn’t long before I could hear him screaming and crying.  They wheeled him out on a bed, and he had his bottom up in the air like he was sleeping.  His eyes were still closed, and it was so hard to watch.  I immediately was given a seat and he was given to me.  Eventually his eyes opened and the crying stopped, but it was absolute hell to see the anguish in him.  We were told several times that this reaction is pretty typical for little ones, and sure enough other little kids seemed to have the same reaction.  But it is different when it is YOUR child.  I think most parents get that.  It was heartbreaking, and it was only for ear tubes.  I can’t even imagine how it would feel to have your child undergo anything more involved like surgery or another procedure.  The feeling as a parent is so profound, and I can’t even begin to describe it.

It seemed like eventually everything was fine.  But in the middle of the night my son started vomiting.  After consulting with others, it seems that it wasn’t related to the procedure, but it still had made for another unfortunate day for my son.

So far, the last day or so has gone well, and I’m hoping we are done with procedures and illness for awhile.  Of course, illness is a part of life, but I’m hoping that my son gets a break from it for now.