Category: General

This is the first entry I am writing in the new year.  Like many people, I have been spending the last few weeks thinking about the previous year as well as the one ahead.  Like many years before it, 2017 brought some very high highs and some very low lows, but I feel like a lot was both accomplished and enjoyed.  Of course, it never turns out like you plan.  I’m sure 2018 will be no different.

If I recall correctly, I did the same thing last year, but I like the idea of having a word or a theme for the year instead of resolutions.  For this year, I have decided that my word/theme is “Renovation”.  Why you may ask?  Well, as far as I know, I am not doing any physical renovation to our house or anything, but I might be surprised to see that come up.  When I talk about renovation, I am talking about renovating myself as a person.  Losing weight, getting in shape, running 5Ks again – some of these are at the top of my list.  However, I want to renovate some relationships.  I also want to renovate my emotional well-being and how I process the world around me.  In addition, there is plenty of renovation to do on the mental health front, and a lot of good causes will still need a lot of help.  Luckily for me, renovation can take on many meanings, and I will get to be flexible with it as the year unfolds.

How about you?  Are you tired of the resolutions thing like I am?  How about a theme or word for the year that you can redefine and adapt as the year goes along?  Perhaps you already have one, or perhaps you can think of one to get your year rolling.  What type of year are you looking forward to?

At the time of this writing, we are in the middle of the holiday season.  Christmas is over, however the New Year has not yet arrived.  The last week or so has been wonderful seeing friends and family, and I am so fortunate to have so many people that care about my family and me.  One of the things we like to do as a family is attend our church’s Christmas Eve service, so that was a part of our holiday plans.

We had celebrated a family Christmas outside of town on the 23^rd, so we had to drive back home for Christmas Eve.  We made it home in time for the service, however, we quickly stopped at home and then went to the church.  On our way back, our toddler slept and did wake up about the time we got home, so we thought he would be ready to go to church.

Turns out, we made a rookie parenting mistake.  Our little boy had been sitting in a car seat for over two hours, plus he hadn’t had much of a snack or any food.  As we walked into the sanctuary, he started crying and was not interested in staying there.  I took him out of the sanctuary for a little bit, tried to come back in, and he was having none of it.  So, my son and I spent about 95% of the Christmas Eve service walking the hallways, playing, eating, and drinking.  Of course, after being in the car he needed to move around and burn some energy, which is part of being a toddler.

I was bummed to miss out on the service, but I realized that motherhood is full of moments like this.  Moments where the needs of your child come before what you want to do.  At that moment, my child needed to roam and play, and taking care of him is more important than being able to enjoy a church service.  So, it may not have been part of the plan, but it was what needed to happen for my family, and it didn’t spoil the holiday at all.

Since we are in the holiday season as I write this, I was busy the other day looking for my DVD of National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.  This movie is by far my favorite Christmas movie.  Some of the jokes never get old, and it is always good to laugh.  But, I could not find it anywhere.  I looked at where I thought all of the DVDs were, and after looking several times I still could not find it.  However, during this search I stumbled upon something else I had presumed had been lost forever.

A portable DVD player was something I had purchased several years ago, thinking I would use it on a very long flight from LA to Tahiti for our big honeymoon trip.  I don’t think it has ever been used, and it got stored away for future use.  Except that I could never find the darn thing.  Turns out it was in a bag on the same shelf as some of our DVDs that are in a storage bag.  How many times had I been in the cabinet and just assumed that bag also had DVDs in it?  Good grief.  However, as I searched for my DVD it occurred to me that I should look in this bag, and there it was.  I was so excited after finding this (right under my nose) after two years that not finding the original item was not such a big deal.

And of course this incident gave me a deeper insight.  How many times do we “look” for something only to find something else along the way?  Life is like that a lot I think.  This incident was another reminder to appreciate and observe not only the outcome but the journey to it.

P.S. – My husband did find the DVD in our basement in a place it usually wouldn’t be kept!

Over the last few months I have been looking at preschools for my son.  Now, he is a little young for preschool at this point, but since I have no idea about availability and waiting lists, I figured I would try to get a jump on it.  My son already attends a daycare that has preschool, so really he wouldn’t have to move at all.  However, I wanted to consider some different types of preschool, specifically Montessori and Christian preschools.

Looking at these other schools has been an eye opening experience.  The rules, the policies, and the procedures are all different, and honestly thinking about my son being in a different place has created some anxiety for me, although I am sure he would be fine.  I am also sure these schools are great, but I keep wondering what additional value they would bring that he isn’t already getting.  Is a Montessori school the right option for us?  Is a Christian school the right option for us?  I’m also not here to judge the decisions of others, but I’m looking at these places and thinking, are we just going to pay people to cover topics that we could do ourselves at home?  What is to stop us from creating a Montessori experience at home?  What is to stop us from creating a Christian school experience at home?  If these topics are so important to us, wouldn’t we be living this out at home?  This is entirely my own opinion, but I feel like paying more to go to these places is saying that I give up my responsibility to do it as a parent.  I could be totally wrong, but I am definitely struggling with that right now.  Luckily we have time on our side, so I am hoping to get this sorted out in a practical way.  Overall, though, I am fortunate to be able to have the options to consider.

Do you feel like you spend most of your days dealing with issues or problems?  Are you looking for solutions or ways to make things better?  Are you looking to make an issue or problem go away?

While it can be said that most of life is dealing with problems, there is some basic goodness to that.  If we didn’t have problems to solve, what exactly would all of us do all day long?  Solving problems can give us purpose, and they are what drives most of us to be productive and giving people.

On the other hand, problems can be overwhelming.  Too many problems, not enough solutions.  Or, there is the question of prioritizing – which problem should be solved first?  Sometimes it seems so out of our control.

But I wonder among all of these problems – do we take the time to acknowledge the strengths and assets that we do have?  Instead of always concerning ourselves with problems and what is wrong, what about spending some time to think about what is right?  What is going well?  What do we do well?  What do we already have?  What do we already know?  Perhaps we need a little more balance here.  Would solving problems be easier if we first thought about the strengths and assets we already have?  I think it is at least worth a shot.

So, next time you go to work on a problem, think about your strengths.  Do you already have some of the resources you need?  Do you already have some of the skills you need?  Perhaps it will give you the boost you need to solve your problem more efficiently.  At the very least, it may also help to give you the confidence and motivation to keep moving forward, and that can be very helpful too.

We have just put our toddler down for a nap, and, as usual, he is not too happy about it.  Even as I write this I hear crying and screaming, and I hate that he is unhappy.  But, he’s a little boy, and we know from experience that naptime is important.  Really, it is important for all of us to rest and have downtime, although that may look different for all of us.  Anyway, naptime in our house is usually not the best part of parenting.

Ah, parenting.  The toughest, messiest, scariest, happiest, loveliest, and most joyful thing most of us will do.  Parenting encompasses all human emotions on the spectrum.  One minute you could be having a great time with your child, and the next they are trying every ounce of patience you have.  Children truly are great teachers in this respect, as they seem to have ways to bring out the traits and habits that you could improve.

For all of the ups and downs of parenting, there are some pretty beautiful moments that make it all worth it.  Luckily for me, I got to have one of those moments last week.

As I was getting ready to leave to teach a class, I kissed my son and told him and good bye and that I loved him.  Without asking for a response, he responded by saying that he loved me too!  I was overwhelmed and started crying, but it was a happy cry.  I said it again and so did he.  Wow!  Who knew that “love you” would be some of his first words?!  It truly made my day, and in my opinion speaks to how much we say we love each other in our family.  It was definitely a small moment to cherish.

If you are a parent, how about you?  What beautiful parenting moments have you had?  When you are having a tough day, hopefully remembering these can make the day just a little lighter.

Today during work I was asked to send both a baby picture and a picture from my teenage years to a co-worker.  We are having a “virtual baby shower” tomorrow for one of my team members, and this is going to be a part of the shower.  Luckily, I had scanned some old photos that now hang out on my computer, so it was fairly easy to do.  However, during the process I started to get sucked into looking at all of the pictures that I do have on my computer.

Ah pictures.  There are so many of them, especially since I got my first digital camera.  However, I also have a lot of pictures from the old print days when I was taking pictures all of the time in high school and college.  What is it about taking and having pictures?

There are some people who note that you don’t want to spend your whole life taking pictures because by doing that, you are missing out on life itself.  I respect that.  My son was born into a world that is all digital pictures, and I can only imagine the amount of images he will have taken of or by him.  Phones also make it all too easy to take a large volume of snapshots.  I understand there has to be a balance here.  However, I think pictures are important.  As I started looking at my digital pictures all I could do was smile, and it was an enjoyable experience.  I know that going through my old print ones would also bring me a lot of joy.

So, when it comes to pictures, everyone has to decide what balance works for them.  Don’t miss out on life by taking pictures all of the time, however, make sure you have a way to remember the good times.  There is a way to make photos complement instead of overwhelm.

As I write this, I am in the middle of a weekend long training to become a Zumbini instructor.  What is Zumbini?  It is a 45 minute class for 0-4 year olds that involves singing, dancing, and playing instruments.  For those you familiar with Zumba, it is related to it, but it is not the same thing.  You can check out Zumba here: https://www.zumba.com/en-US and Zumbini here: https://www.zumbini.com/

Before I started the class today, I read the instructor’s manual, and when I read it it seemed pretty straightforward and easy to follow.  Of course, now that I am in the class I am learning all the finer details and ways to make for a great experience for children and their caregivers.  Like most things in life, reading about it and actually doing it are very different things.

For those of you who know me, doing this class is definitely out of my usual.  I am a science and math kind of lady.  And, although I appreciate and have an interest in art, dance, and music, and I am not usually the one leading the creative activity.  I am hoping this will help me to tap into my creative side and share it with others.  It is likely going to take a lot of practice to make it happen, but I think the Zumbini program is such a great idea – singing, dancing, playing music, and sharing it with little ones – sounds like a good way to spend time to me!

How about you?  Is there something you have thought about doing that is beyond your usual?  What would it take to make it happen?  What do you stand to gain from doing it?  I hope you take the time to at least consider something you might want to do that is beyond your usual.

The week of this writing it was announced that Prince Harry is engaged.  Some of you might be asking, who is Prince Harry?  However, if you follow the British monarchy at all, you know who he is.  I wouldn’t say I am obsessed with them, but I have followed the British royals since Princess Diana.  I am mostly interested in Prince William and Kate since we were all born within the same year, and I did get up at 3 a.m. to watch their wedding.  I also will admit that I bought a knock-off version of Kate’s engagement ring, because I thought it was beautiful and because I love sapphires.

Why am I so fascinated by these people?  I wonder this myself sometimes.  I think I like to dream about how glamourous and fun their lives must be.  It seems like they get to do what they want and live how they want.  I’m sure there are some not so great things about life as a royal, and it isn’t always awesome, but overall it seems like it should be a good gig.  Thinking about being a royal to me is like thinking about what you would do with unlimited resources.

Dreaming aside, there is another reason I like the royals so much, particularly these days.  And that is their charity work.  They are involved in many causes, and I think that is important.  Specifically, they have done work regarding mental health, and I appreciate how they lend their support to this cause.  If you want to see more, check out this link: http://www.royalfoundation.com/our-work/heads-together/

By bringing mental health more into the public eye, the British royalty are adding to the idea that the more we talk about it, the less fear and stigma there will be.  This also helps to create more dialogue on solutions.  I applaud their efforts, and I look forward to their continued work in this area.

As I write this entry, we are getting closer to Thanksgiving.  This means that we are also close to another date that has taken on a new meaning in my life over the last 5 or so years.  That day is International Survivors of Suicide Day, which is always held on the Saturday before Thanksgiving.  The name of the day pretty much gives away the fact that it is a day for survivors of suicide to remember the victims of suicide.  Sadly, this is a day that is being observed by more and more people every year.

While for a few years I actually attended scheduled events for the day, over the last few years I have not done so.  But, regardless, it is yet another reminder of what my family has lost.  Although not the only one I have lost, I definitely think about my dad the most on this day.

What I have really been thinking about lately with my dad is all of the earthly things he has not been here for.  I have been saddened thinking about how my dad would have loved spending time with my husband.  In fact, I joke that I would have had to talk to my dad about making sure I had time to spend with my husband!  I feel that my dad would have had him shooting, hunting, and fishing all of the time.  Then, with my son, I can’t even imagine.  He would be at our house all of the time and would want nothing more than to hang out with his grandson.  I get sad thinking of how fun it would have been to see them together.

And so, the loss of my dad (or the loss of anyone) is not really a one time event.  It is something that continues to bring you loss at different times and in different ways.  International Survivors of Suicide Day is another reminder of that loss, but it is also a way to help give some meaning to it.  So, if you are survivor of suicide I encourage you to look into this day and find out more.