Category: General

It seems like everywhere I look when it comes to personal development and/or work, I am being told to make SMART goals.  You might have heard of it – SMART goals are Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Realistic, and Time-Based.  Maybe it’s just me, but I find goal setting incredibly boring, especially at work.  It already blocks my creativity and thinking by having to follow someone else’s idea of how to set a goal.  Of course, there may be a time and place for them, and they probably do serve a purpose, but I am not a big fan of the SMART goals.

Something that I really have enjoyed hearing about recently is what I would call incremental change.  Here, the focus is on becoming and/or doing a little bit better as time goes on.  The thinking is that even with a 1 or 5 percent improvement you can see changes.  You may not measure it exactly as a certain percentage of improvement, but you know are doing better.  An example would be exercise.  Say you work out for 15 minutes a day 3 days a week – what if you increased that to 20 minutes a day 3 days a week?  Without having to do specific measurements, we understand that this change can lead to greater health.  Again, having measurable goals can be important to demonstrate change, but there are things that don’t require such rigid measurement to see an improvement.

I also like the idea of incremental change because it encourages me to think about what I can do now instead of being paralyzed by a big goal that seems overwhelming.  All of the little steps can add up to something big, so what little steps can you or I take today to show improvement?  Whether it is related to health, work, hobbies, etc., I encourage you to see what small changes you can make to improve your life.

For anyone who knows me well, you know that I am an avid reader.  Honestly, there are times when I am obsessed with it – I will carry a book or my Kindle with me, and I will find every free moment to have that book out reading.  Of course, there are some books that I like more than others, and there are some that apply to the topics that I blog about.  Today I will list a few books that I have read recently and would recommend to you if you are interested.  These books are also listed on my Resources page.

1.Permission to Parent by Robin Berman – this is a great book that to me gets back to the basics of parenting.  Parents are not here to answer to a child’s every whim and be their friend, parents are here to help (in a positive and supportive way) make sure their child(ren) become self-sufficient adults (assuming no serious disabilities).  Parenting a lot of the time may mean doing some hard things, but in the end it will be worth the effort, and I appreciate that this book is out there.

2.The Nature Fix by Florence Williams – this book to me speaks to the power of nature to help heal, restore, and prevent stress and disease.  Nature may not be the ultimate cure, but the information and stories presented here make for a compelling case that nature can definitely help all of us on our journey to or maintenance of health and wellness.

3.Miracle Mindset by JJ Virgin – this book includes a miraculous story and the lessons that came with it.  I won’t share those lessons, but I think this is a great book for a caregiver of someone with mental illness.  Although you may not describe your situation as a miracle, there are lessons in the book that I think can really apply to any difficult situation that you may be facing.

Of course, I understand that it may be hard to find the time to read or maybe you are not all that into reading.  That’s fine.  Perhaps you can get an audio version or at the very least go to the author’s website to possibly get an idea of the major themes.  Whatever works for you is what is important.  Regardless, knowledge can be helpful, and I hope these recommendations might help in some way.

I have been up for less than 15 minutes, and I already feel like I am “running behind”.  I see before me a day of meetings, chores, and tasks, and I wonder if I will have enough time to get it all done.  Bummer.  I am guessing this is a feeling that is not new to almost everyone, and I have blogged about it before.

Even though my to-do list is long today, I am already strategizing about what the priorities are:  obviously, I need to take care of my child.  If you are a caregiver to someone, chances are that taking care of them is a priority for you too.  But I am also thinking about how I can fit in some meditation, exercise, and time to read my devotional.  In addition, I am wondering about how I can make the meetings, chores, and tasks more fun.  Can I listen to some music I like while doing those things?  Can I be surrounded by pictures of things that inspire me?  Are there smells or textures that make for a more calming environment for me?

Of course, if your day is already busy, it can be hard to take the time to think of ways to take care of yourself and/or make what you have to do seem a little more pleasant.  I encourage you to think about these things when you are not so busy, and then develop a plan that is ready to go when the busy days show up.  This also does not have to be a rigid plan, but something that has some options for those busy days that seem to be inevitable.  While my primary wish here is no overwhelming days for anyone, my secondary (and more realistic) wish is to make the best of whatever a “regular” day throws at you.

*Note: This was written at an earlier date

I have been looking forward to this day for weeks.  A paid holiday from work for me, and yet everyone in my family has a regular day.  A free day for me to do whatever I want!  I have had some plans in the back of my mind, but I didn’t make any solid commitments for the day.  I was thinking I will just “go with the flow”.

Now, I suppose I am glad I went with that sentiment, because we are in the middle of an ice storm.  I may not have to work today, but I am assuming that everyone else’s regular day will not be so regular.  I’m thinking it will not be the free day I was hoping for.  And, to be honest, I am a little bummed.

I assume this happens to everyone.  You make plans, or at least you think you have an idea of how something is going to happen, and then it doesn’t or something comes up that might not be as fun or enjoyable.  The weather is bad.  A family situation comes up.  Your loved one with mental illness has an unexpected bad day.  Also, to note, I am talking about somewhat regular events here – I am not discussing major life events like a death in the family or something traumatic.  Although every situation is different, it can be very disappointing to have things not go in your planned direction.

So, how do you cope?  We’ve all had to do it already, but is there a “best” way to deal with the disappointment?

Unfortunately, I don’t have the answer to that.  Everyone has different ways of dealing with a change of plans, and it can depend on the situation.  My example today is pretty simple – I probably won’t have my free day – I will spend it with my family, but in turn I will be helping to keep them safe from being out in icy, dangerous weather.

So, maybe what you or I have to do is straightforward, but perhaps what can be changed is how we react to it.  Easier said than done, again.  Depending on what you believe, you might think there are positive reasons why this happened.  Or, perhaps you can bring up some gratitude on what is going well instead.  While you may not be able to change the situation, you can change or control how you react to it, and hopefully you can find positive ways to do so.  The next time something in your day doesn’t go as planned, I encourage you to react to it in the most positive way that you can.

My last entry was on resolutions and themes, and if you set any, I am guessing that some of you included “getting organized” as one of them.  This one is always a challenge to me.

While I would like to think that I enjoy organization and the perception of control it brings, when I really think about it, I dread it.  It seems like a lot of work.  It really isn’t that enjoyable for me to do.  Admittedly, I love the feeling I get when I am done, but it doesn’t last long, and soon enough I am feeling “disorganized” again.  And, within the last year, there is a new challenge – my little one.  Not that my little one is that messy (yet), but it’s really hard to spend time organizing when he is way more fun to take care of and entertain.  So, how do I stay even remotely in the ballpark of organized (well, at least in my terms)?

Before I had my son, I would do a massive organizational stint in January.  Every weekend was focused on different rooms of the house, and a lot of purging, filing, and donating went on.  I figured, January is my least favorite month anyway, so I might as well focus on getting the house in some degree of order.  And what a long, frustrating month it was.

This year, I am trying something new.  I am doing this partly because I don’t have the motivation to do it all at once and partly because my son isn’t going to give me whole days to devote to organizing.  Every month, I have decided that we will only focus on a room or two.  We have the whole month to get the targeted areas up to date.  This rolling focus means that everything will have been addressed by the end of the year.  And, if all goes well, we will do this every year.  I am already breathing a sigh of relief knowing that I am setting it up to be a constant work in progress with incremental steps along the way.

How about you?  Do you have a routine or process that needs a change up?  How could you do it differently?  Would this change be helpful in your opinion?  I hope you can make the time to think about it if it sparks your interest.

Most pharmacists I believe are control freaks, and I am no exception.  I want to plan and coordinate and make sure everything goes the way I expect it to.  Hilarious stuff, I know.  Throw in having a child and it becomes even funnier.  What’s worse is I’m someone who thinks they can control external events but doesn’t usually think about what I actually can control.  But, I am trying to work on really thinking it through.

There are so many things in this world I can’t control – the weather, illness, what other people say and do, and so on.  I have to let it go, because if I think I can control any of it, I am going to be disappointed so many times that I might start to get depressed.  How can I let it go?  For me, that can include praying or meditating.  For you, that may mean some other type of spiritual exercise or activity.  Also, this is not a “one and done” practice.  This is a constant work in progress for me.

Once I work through the things I can’t control, I am trying to focus on what I can.  I can control how I react to life.  I can control how I spend my time.  I can control how I spend my money.  A lot of the time, I catch myself just drifting along in my own life, when I could be making deliberate choices about me and exerting the control I so desperately want to use on everything else!  Ah, the insights you discover when you keep pushing to learn about yourself and your world.

If “regular life” wasn’t enough, control can take on a whole new meaning when caring with someone with mental illness.  It can feel like you have no control over anything in this scenario, but perhaps thinking about what to let go and what YOU can control will help.  Most of the time, this is not an easy road, and it may feel like there isn’t even the time to think about it.  However, taking a moment to process your thoughts on control might really help your perspective.  This in turn can help you be a better caregiver.  I encourage you to give it a try if you can.

If you have been reading my blog, you know that recently I announced that I would be focusing my services on caregivers of those who are mentally ill.  No matter what the situation, caregiving can be tough stuff, but I think that caring for those with mental illness can have some very specific challenges.

It can be hard to care for someone who physically looks ok – you don’t see any broken bones or wounds, and they may interact with the world in what would be considered a “normal” way.  But, over time, you learn that there are wounds and scars, you just don’t physically see them.  It can be so hard to empathize with them, however.  “It’s all in his or her head.”  “Why can’t they just snap out of it?”  “He or she needs to stop pretending something is wrong.”  “They just want attention.”  These are all things I admit to saying about someone I love that has suffered from a mental illness, and there is guilt now from ever believing those things.

There are other factors, but caregiving for the mentally ill can be physically, socially, mentally, and spiritually draining.  It can take away time to meet with friends, exercise, go to church, or many other activities that are important to you.  It can frustrate you, make you cry, and make you angry.

My hope is that you can begin to look at your caregiving situation and see what you are missing that you really enjoy.  Once you know that, it is time to start thinking about what is most important to you and how you can fit that into your life.  That can certainly be hard to do, but you are already doing some hard stuff.  Although you may doubt yourself, you are doing the best you can to take care of someone else.  How do you turn that around and do your best to take care of yourself?

Every once in awhile, and I assume like most others, I get a flash of inspiration.  This weekend, I had one of them that will change the focus of what I am doing with my blog and my business.  Currently, I am open to working on health and wellness with anyone, and that doesn’t have to change.  However, I would like to start focusing on health and wellness for a particular group of individuals – those that care for people with mental illness.

Although I have not personally struggled with mental illness, it has been in my family for many years.  I understand the challenges and stress that can come with these illnesses.  I’ve been there.  And, although I imagine that having a mental illness is awful, I also know that caregivers of those with mental illness need to be taken care of as well.  I firmly believe that you can’t take care of someone else if you don’t first take care of yourself.  And, taking care of yourself means working on your personal health and wellness.

So, today I am letting the world know – if you are a caregiver for someone with a mental illness, I want to help make sure that you are taking care of your health and wellness.  I want you to be at your best so you can take care of those that need you.  Despite the challenges of caregiving, I believe there are ways to fit in self care, and I am interested in helping you on your journey.

As someone with a pharmacy background and a love for learning, I spend a lot of time reading, watching or listening to videos or webinars, and generally trying to soak up as much information as I can.  A lot of that information is related to health and wellness, and, like just about any subject, there is a lot of information out there.  Not only is there a huge volume but it can also conflict.  How do I know what is right?  What data should I go by?  What information will help me?  What information will help you?

The simple answer: it depends.  So frustrating to hear, but so true.  Because a general theme that seems to apply to health and wellness is that there is no one size fits all.  Everyone is different – even at this moment, the chemical make up in your body, including any food, medicine, hormones, minerals, vitamins, etc. is different from anyone else.  Of course, there are some principles that seem to apply well to everyone – an example is that eating a variety of vegetables seems to be a good recommendation.  But excluding those exceptions, any kind of interventions or treatments should be individualized, and I think a lot of people understand and desire that.  What works for you may not work for me.

While individualized intervention can sound appealing, it can be frustrating too.  I can think of diets or medications that are meant to be used on a wide population, but it won’t work for everyone.  Sometimes individualized plans can come with a lot of trial and error, and that can be hard when you are trying to feel better, lose weight, etc.  As with most things in life, there are pros and cons to a lot of what we do.  In the end, however, I think in our journeys of health and wellness we need to encourage an individualized approach.  This is a path that we continue to see, and I hope it results in more wellness for all.