Category: Mental

Abundance

This might be a short post today, which is funny considering that I wanted to touch on the concept of abundance.  However, lately it has been fairly obvious to me that I mostly think of my life from a place of scarcity – not enough time, not enough money, etc.  Is that even really true?  Or, is there any way to prove it?  What if I changed it around and thought that there was enough time, enough money, enough of everything?  Would I make different choices?  Would I spend my time differently?  Would I spend my money differently?

Now of course, I’m not necessarily supporting the idea that “everything will take care of itself” and the world will just give you everything that you need.  If you have ever dealt with mental illness or any other illness in any way I am sure that doesn’t ring true to you.  Life still has to be managed, but what I am talking about here is more of a mental outlook.  Thinking that there will be enough time to get something done.  Thinking that there will be a way to pay for something.  Thinking that the world and people are with you instead of against you.

Would it be better to have hope and then be disappointed, or be disappointed from the beginning?  The answer is up to you.

Stepping Out

Although it has now been awhile, I took some time off during the middle of one of my work days for a NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) event.  The event itself was great, and I actually felt like I had done something important during that time as well.  I am not going to get into the details of the event on this current post, but today I wanted to focus on how good it can be to step out of your regular routine (that is, assuming you have a regular routine).

For some reason, I always feel surprised when this happens, but in hindsight this almost always seems to be the case.  Breaking up your regular routine can be so rewarding.  For me, I think it is easy to feel like I am doing the same things day in and day out.  I have days where I wonder what might pop up and make it different, but I don’t always notice or take the time to determine what is special about each day.  I think stepping out of your regular routine can also change your perspective and open your mind.  Once I’ve done something different from the usual (vacation, take the day off, take a long lunch break, etc.) my world seems bigger and better from the very small focus I had before.  For me, it is so easy to get wrapped up in my own little world – changing things up and stepping outside my regular routine can help remind me that the world has so much more than what my brain will limit me to sometimes.

How about you?  Do you feel like you are doing the exact same things day in and day out?  Is there a way you can change up your routine every now and then or more frequently?  To me, breaking up a routine can be refreshing, and I encourage you to take the opportunity to see if doing so inspires you as well.

Courage

At this point in my life I am a very fortunate woman.  I have so many wonderful things going on, and I have the luxury to look deeper and think about how I can improve.  One area that has really been calling to me lately is how I need to actually live my values.  I think about the things I truly value and then look at how I live my life, and it doesn’t really seem to match up.  I’m not completely beating myself up for it, but I am wondering how I can be in more alignment with the two.  This is where courage comes in.

To really live my life and to really live my values I know I have to change some things that go against the status quo.  Honestly I live a very safe and pretty easy life, and I’m not sure that is ok.  What is a life that plays it safe?  Again, I am not completely upset by it, but I know I could be doing better.  Of course, here I start thinking about how I ultimately would like to see my life, and it is overwhelming.  How could I possibly shake up my life, especially when others are affected by it?  Do I have the courage to even more forward towards this more aligned life?

As scary as it may be, I am guessing I do have some amount of courage in me.  I have the power to move forward, and it doesn’t have to involve making big changes all of the sudden.  If I break it down, what small changes can I make today to get to where I want to be?  Luckily, I have been thinking about this for long enough that I do have some smaller ways that I can start with, and to me that is progress.  What about you?  Do you think you lack the courage to do something important to you?  If so, is there a way to break it down or take smaller steps to build up your courage?

Let’s Talk About TED

One of the websites I have listed on my resources page is www.ted.com – this will take you to a huge number of TED talks.  Today, I wanted to explain a little bit about TED and how I find their talks to be a great way to learn and be inspired.

TED stands for technology, entertainment, and design.  TED has events each year, and there are also independent TEDx events all over the world.  There slogan is “Ideas worth spreading”, and I just love the idea of it!  TED talks are typically 20 minutes or less and can cover any topic.  I first heard about TED around 5 years ago when my local community was hosting a TEDx event.  I went to it and really enjoyed the day, thus making me a fan of TED ever since.  I really like the concept of being able to learn and be challenged and/or inspired in such a short amount of time.  People have amazing stories, research, and solutions that they are sharing with the world, and I appreciate the fact that a lot of this is free for anyone to watch.

While it can be wonderful (depending on who you ask) to sit with your thoughts and/or read about something in-depth, TED talks provide an efficient and concise way to present an idea.  This is great because most of us do not have the time or attention to give to a bunch of ideas – TED talks allow you to learn something, and if you want to explore the idea further you can pursue that after the talk.  So, I encourage everyone to head over to the TED website and pick any talk that interests you and see if or how you enjoy the talk.  If you are like me, you may start watching a ton of them and start losing track of time, but no matter what you do I hope you will find it was time well spent.

Yuck

*Note: This was written at an earlier date

Yesterday was a bad day.  Both my husband and I were up in the middle of the previous night with stomach issues, and we were both nauseous and achy and tired.  I later found out that my mom had it too.  Luckily, our little one seemed fine, but when we thought about it, we remembered that he had been sick just briefly a few days before, so we suspected we had all gotten it from him.

So, here we were on a weekend day – our son seemed healthy, which again, was a good thing.  However, we had no daycare to take him to, and our main babysitter was sick too.  In addition, it would have been wrong to ask someone else for help since I was pretty sure whatever we had was contagious.  We faced a whole day of having to stick it out watching our little one when both of us felt that we didn’t have the energy or strength to do so.  It was one of the hardest days of my life thus far.

I realize this scenario happens all of the time.  And, I realize that for a lot of people this is nothing compared to days that they have had to face.  But for me, it was so tough.  I was definitely in survival mode – I was taking it one bottle and one diaper at a time.  I was also trying to focus only on keeping him safe.  He might not have been wonderfully entertained all day, but he was safe.  At the end of the day, right before I went to sleep, I couldn’t stop thinking about how horrible of a mother I must have been during the day – I was impatient, lethargic, and not all that cheery – and that wasn’t the end of the list.  I thought I did the best I could, but it was still terrible!  I knew that physically I felt awful, but I didn’t realize how psychologically awful I would feel too.

I woke up this morning after about 10 hours of sleep and so far I am physically feeling much better.  I am looking back on yesterday still with some of the same misgivings that I had last night.  What I know, though, is that this may have been one of my first tough days as a parent, but it will not be my last.  I need to give myself some grace and forgiveness for those days when I am not my best, because they happen.  I also need to give myself some credit for what did happen.  While essentially we just met his basic needs, we did keep our son fed, changed, and safe.  He also had plenty of toys to play with during the day.  I’m sure he is feeling way better about yesterday than I am.  I did the best I could with what I had, and some days that is simply enough.

Shifting

This morning I am having some interesting feelings.  I feel like things, although honestly pretty darn good for me overall, are going to get even better.  I have a lot of hope for the future, and I am excited to make it happen.  I can’t explain why I feel this way, but I am not going to analyze it…well, too much.

I do think that one of the reasons I am feeling so hopeful is because I am getting the chance to explore many topics that I am passionate about.  Somehow, between work, parenting, volunteering, and other relationships, I am finding the time to work in some reading, audio, and video on topics such as integrative psychiatry, the effects of nature on health, and faith.  I am also practicing good self-care by exercising and meditating, among other things.

Of course, someone may look at what I just wrote as awful.  Who would be interested in integrative psychiatry?  Who cares about meditation?  I understand – what is interesting to me may not even be close to anyone else.  The point, however, is that if you can make some time to explore your passions, you may find yourself with the ability to just “be”, and that can open up your mind.  And, I find that when my mind is more open, a greater hope can emerge.

It can be hard to carve out the time to pursue your personal explorations, and if you think you can’t add one more thing to your day, is there a way to fit it into what you are already doing?  Can you listen to something in your car or use earphones when you take different transportation or walk?  Can you have a book with you for times when you are waiting in line or somewhere else?  Can you take a few moments when you get up or before you go to bed to ease into the day or night with something that you want explore?  My hope is that you can find a way to start exploring your passions and interests if you haven’t already.

Frustration

This has been a tough week so far – work has been demanding and frustrating in many ways, I’m sick for the umpteenth time since my son was born, and my son had an accident at daycare yesterday that gave him quite the bruise near his eye.  To top that off, I couldn’t get my beloved Kindle to work this morning so I could read on the stationary bicycle – ok, that isn’t so serious, but my Kindle and I have been good friends for many years.

I would assume that most of the time I would not be reacting well to this week, but I seem less bothered by it all for some reason.  Why?  I think it might be a couple of things – first, I started meditating again within the last week after getting out of the habit for awhile.  I am also trying to throw in some more gratitude too.  Work will get better and resolutions will be obtained.  I will feel better soon.  My son’s bruise will get better and I am so thankful it didn’t involve more of his eye.  Heck, the Kindle is already working again.  There is a silver lining to this week.

While dealing with mental illness can be way more serious than the issues I have described above, the ways of coping with the frustrations can be similar.  Is it possible to change how you react to the situation?  Can you find something to be grateful for among the issues being faced?  Is there something like meditation, massage, yoga, etc. that you can use to recharge and help you deal with whatever comes your way?  I’ve talked about some of these before, but there are also many that I have not discussed.  I challenge you to take some time today to think about ways that can improve how you deal with the frustrations in your life, and this can benefit anyone you are taking care of as well.

Detox

Today I am planning to start a one week “detox”.  What exactly am I talking about here?

“Detox” can mean a lot of things to a lot of people.  In a broad sense, I believe that a detox is like a reset or a recharge.  For example, I am resetting what I eat by doing a week of fairly clean eating – no soy, no dairy, no added sugars, etc.  I am also cutting out exercise this week, which I think will be fairly easy to do!

Another example is that I have heard of people going on a technology detox, where they do not use their computers, smartphones, or TVs for a certain period of time.  As you can see, there are many different types of ways to “detox”.  Have you done anything like this before?  How did it go for you?

While starting a detox can be hard, I have found that they can be a great way to jump start a goal you are working towards.  Of course, if you are doing something that involves your health, like changing up your diet or exercise, you will want to check with your doctor first.  As you can imagine, there are a huge variety of “detoxes” out there, and some of them are not very good for you, so getting a professional’s approval is important.

If you have the time and are willing to do so, I challenge you to consider whether any type of detox would be a beneficial way to change something up in your life.

Background

While I may have hinted at my experiences with mental health, I am not sure if I have shared much of my story.  I would like to do that today.  I plan to keep it concise, but understand that I could spend a lot of time talking about all of the details.

To get it out there right away – I have lost 3 family members to suicide.  The first was my older cousin Craig, who died in March of 2011.  His son Aaron, also my cousin, died in March of 2014.  These losses were painful, but the one that hit me the hardest was my dad, Dan, who died on July 27, 2012.  It was my mom’s 58th birthday.

There is so much to say about each one of these men.  I will focus on my dad, though, because he is the one I knew the best.  No matter when it happens, suicide is a shock to the system.  My dad had fought several rounds of depression before this, and we knew it could happen, but we never truly believed it would.

My dad had his first round of depression the summer of 2000, which was between high school and college for me.  He was able to get better and go back to work and life.  His second round was early 2011 after a bladder surgery – again, he got better, but unfortunately this time he had no job to go back to.  He seemed ok with it, but he didn’t have much free time until he was depressed again in the spring of 2012.  July of 2012 was awful for us – he had a small stroke at the beginning of the month, and things just got worse from there.

In hindsight, I think he died because of a recent change of medications.  When you are very depressed you can have suicidal thoughts, but you might not be able to act on them.  When you start to take a medication and it works, you can still have the suicidal thoughts and then also have the momentum to carry them through.  As a pharmacist, I knew this was a possibility, and you will find warnings on drugs that discuss this.  I felt major guilt after he died because I didn’t use my education to see this coming.  Of course, that is silly to think I was responsible, but that is just one of the many things I have dealt with.

Based on this brief background, I feel that I know what it is like to live around mental illness.  There are so many challenges and issues and things you never wanted to think about.  It is a tough road, but it can get better.  There is always hope.  And, even though the 3 men here are gone, they are remembered and honored for being a part of our lives.

I share all of this not for your sympathy, but to convey that it can indeed happen to you or someone you care about.  My guess is that most people know someone with some type of mental illness.  Sadly, mental illness is everywhere, but the more we talk about it the more things will hopefully change for the better.  I hope that this is the beginning of sharing some great insights about mental illness and helping the caregivers of those with mental illness.  I look forward to our journey together.

It’s Not All in Your Head

Sometimes I feel like I have nothing new to contribute to the subject of mental illness.  In this era of highly publicized shootings, it seems to pop up quite a bit of the time, but what do people really know about mental health?

I could throw in facts and figures, but in general, mental health issues affect all of us in some way.  A lot of mental health problems can be found in our prisons and in those with substance abuse disorders.  A lot of homeless people struggle as well.  Unfortunately, the stigma of mental illness is still alive and well today even though there seems to be more conversation around it.

I feel like I have to add to the discussion on mental health for a couple of reasons.  First, the more we talk about it the more people (hopefully) learn, and that can help to ease the stigma.  I personally feel that a lot of the stigma comes from a fear of not knowing.  My additional hope is that people begin to think of mental illness like a physical illness, treating it like something similar to cancer or another chronic physical condition.  Mental illness is not “all in your head”, it is a real disease with potentially life or death consequences.

I also can add personal stories.  I have lost two cousins and my dad to suicide.  Depression and/or substance abuse contributed to these losses.  I share this not because I want sympathy.  I share it because I want people to know that it can happen to you or someone you love or care about.  The story that I share unfortunately happens every day, and we need to work together to stop its spread and progression.

So, how about you?  How are you affected by mental illness?  Can you learn more about it?  Can you share your knowledge and story with others?  I hope you will join me in the conversation to end the stigma of mental illness and work towards better treatment and prevention for all.