Most pharmacists I believe are control freaks, and I am no exception. I want to plan and coordinate and make sure everything goes the way I expect it to. Hilarious stuff, I know. Throw in having a child and it becomes even funnier. What’s worse is I’m someone who thinks they can control external events but doesn’t usually think about what I actually can control. But, I am trying to work on really thinking it through.
There are so many things in this world I can’t control – the weather, illness, what other people say and do, and so on. I have to let it go, because if I think I can control any of it, I am going to be disappointed so many times that I might start to get depressed. How can I let it go? For me, that can include praying or meditating. For you, that may mean some other type of spiritual exercise or activity. Also, this is not a “one and done” practice. This is a constant work in progress for me.
Once I work through the things I can’t control, I am trying to focus on what I can. I can control how I react to life. I can control how I spend my time. I can control how I spend my money. A lot of the time, I catch myself just drifting along in my own life, when I could be making deliberate choices about me and exerting the control I so desperately want to use on everything else! Ah, the insights you discover when you keep pushing to learn about yourself and your world.
If “regular life” wasn’t enough, control can take on a whole new meaning when caring with someone with mental illness. It can feel like you have no control over anything in this scenario, but perhaps thinking about what to let go and what YOU can control will help. Most of the time, this is not an easy road, and it may feel like there isn’t even the time to think about it. However, taking a moment to process your thoughts on control might really help your perspective. This in turn can help you be a better caregiver. I encourage you to give it a try if you can.