Dr. Dawn, The Suicide Prevention Pharmacist

Lately there have been things that I have ran into that seem overly complicated.  Instructions on how to complete a process at work, advice on parenting, how to publish something, how to sign up for something, running a program on my computer – the list goes on.  Actually, a lot of what I am noticing has probably always been that way, but I am starting to look at it more.  Why is there a need for so much explanation?  Do most of us need all of that detail?  Maybe I am missing something, and I am sure there are exceptions (brain surgery, launching a rocket, etc.) where details are crucial.

Detailed tasks aside, I have also started to notice that the more instructions and the more explanation, the more confusing it tends to be.  Forget about remembering anything, but how do you even retain the key points?  In a world where information is everywhere all of the time, now is a wonderful time to really look at ways to keep it simple if possible.

If you look at some of the best ideas out there (watching some TED talks, for example), you find that the ideas are simple.  Something that makes you think and challenge your currently held beliefs.  Something you can retain and recall at a later time.  Something you can easily share with another person.  To me, there is some real beauty in that simplicity of thought.  And the fact that you can describe it simply makes it all the more powerful.

How about you?  Does it sometimes feel there is way more explanation out there than what you need?  Is there a way to simplify what information you take in?  My hope is that you begin to appreciate the thought that powerful ideas tend to be the simplest ones to explain.

Lately I have started to get more interested in self-defense and making sure I can protect my family.  Ever since my son was born, this interest has grown, because the way I see it, I would feel awful if something happened to him that I could have prevented in some way.  Apparently I didn’t worry about myself that much, but now that I have him it is a whole different story.  However, in order to help him I also need to know how to take care of myself.  Lastly, this led to me deciding that I needed to stop acting like a victim and instead start thinking like an empowered individual.  Not that you ever want bad things to happen, but it feels better knowing that you might have some ideas on how to deal with it if it ever does happen.

Regardless of my reasons, what I am learning is that there is a lot to learn!  I have read a few books on the topic and I have taken a few classes, and it is definitely not a “one and done” thing.  Being prepared to defend yourself and your family takes continual training and practice.  There are a ton of resources available on the subject, so it is important to take a look and consider what will work for you.  Also, you can not anticipate every single scenario that might come up, but you can learn some basics that can help you in any situation.  Again, the key is training and learning.

How about you?  What do you know about self-defense?  Would you like to learn more?  My hope is that you do want to learn more.  Don’t just assume that someone will always be there to come to your rescue.  While that is hopefully the case, be empowered and feel confident knowing you can at least try to take on whatever may come your way.

Today while I was working I received a message from my boss that I needed to update a certain application on my work computer.  I waited until the end of the day to make the update, and I am so glad I did.  I installed the update, and it kept wanting to restart.  The problem was it kept restarting without any way for me to stop it!  I would get signed back on, and then I would have 2 minutes before it would force me to restart again.  It took longer to get signed in than the time I actually had on the computer.  After going through this cycle about 5 times I decided I needed to get some help.

Luckily, I have an IT Help Desk, so I called to explain my problem.  They had me sign on yet again, and while doing so I warned them that they would have about 2 minutes to remote into my computer and look at anything before it forced another restart.  Of course, this time that did not happen.  I was able to successfully get into the updated version of my application and I wasn’t forced to restart again.  Go figure.

Have you ever had that scenario before?  I suspect most of us have.  We waste a lot of time and energy on something, and when we finally give in and ask for help, it suddenly has resolved itself, or it takes someone 2 seconds to figure it out for you.  Why can we be so stubborn and think that we don’t need help?  Why do we waste time and energy on something when we know there are resources available to help?  I think this incident is another reminder that it is ok to ask for help, and that asking for help is better than getting frustrated and delaying what needs to be addressed.  My hope is that you are able to recognize when you need help before it gets to be too much.

Sometimes I look at the world and I wonder why we seem so resistant to changing certain things.  In fact, I would like to call out one of those “things” today, and that is work time.  Before I begin, I understand that there many exceptions to what I will talk about – hospitals, police stations, firefighters, and many others have to be staffed at certain times of the day to make sure there is always coverage.  However, what I want to talk about are those jobs where having 24-7 coverage is not necessary.

A lot of business jobs would fit into this category I think.  Why do we all seem to think that most people need to work 9 to 5 (or 8 to 5 with a lunch or whatever) Monday through Friday?  Does the particular times really matter as long as the work gets done?  What if someone wants to do other things during the day and work in the evening or on weekends?  What if someone is a “night owl” and is more efficient and productive at night?  Why can’t we be more flexible with both our work and our non-work time?  We should also consider more variety and how many hours actually need to be put in every week.  Does it always have to be the same?  As you can see, there are many ways to look at changing work time for the better.

Luckily, there are people that are challenging this same time, same day routine.  My hope is that this message continues to grow and we start seeing more flexibility in our lives.  After all, real life does not just follow a 9 to 5 schedule – illness happens, cars break down, traffic can create delays, kids have unexpected needs during the day – these occur frequently, and we need a better way to adapt to and manage it all.

At the time of writing this entry, my son had ear tubes placed a few days ago.  I was very anxious about it beforehand, because I was worried about my son being scared about what was happening around him and to him.  He is young enough that ear tubes have to be placed under general anesthesia, because he isn’t going to sit still while you stick things in his ears.  I think the beforehand part went somewhat ok, but afterwards was the worst.

The procedure was probably less than 10 minutes, but it wasn’t long before I could hear him screaming and crying.  They wheeled him out on a bed, and he had his bottom up in the air like he was sleeping.  His eyes were still closed, and it was so hard to watch.  I immediately was given a seat and he was given to me.  Eventually his eyes opened and the crying stopped, but it was absolute hell to see the anguish in him.  We were told several times that this reaction is pretty typical for little ones, and sure enough other little kids seemed to have the same reaction.  But it is different when it is YOUR child.  I think most parents get that.  It was heartbreaking, and it was only for ear tubes.  I can’t even imagine how it would feel to have your child undergo anything more involved like surgery or another procedure.  The feeling as a parent is so profound, and I can’t even begin to describe it.

It seemed like eventually everything was fine.  But in the middle of the night my son started vomiting.  After consulting with others, it seems that it wasn’t related to the procedure, but it still had made for another unfortunate day for my son.

So far, the last day or so has gone well, and I’m hoping we are done with procedures and illness for awhile.  Of course, illness is a part of life, but I’m hoping that my son gets a break from it for now.

This is the first entry I am writing in the new year.  Like many people, I have been spending the last few weeks thinking about the previous year as well as the one ahead.  Like many years before it, 2017 brought some very high highs and some very low lows, but I feel like a lot was both accomplished and enjoyed.  Of course, it never turns out like you plan.  I’m sure 2018 will be no different.

If I recall correctly, I did the same thing last year, but I like the idea of having a word or a theme for the year instead of resolutions.  For this year, I have decided that my word/theme is “Renovation”.  Why you may ask?  Well, as far as I know, I am not doing any physical renovation to our house or anything, but I might be surprised to see that come up.  When I talk about renovation, I am talking about renovating myself as a person.  Losing weight, getting in shape, running 5Ks again – some of these are at the top of my list.  However, I want to renovate some relationships.  I also want to renovate my emotional well-being and how I process the world around me.  In addition, there is plenty of renovation to do on the mental health front, and a lot of good causes will still need a lot of help.  Luckily for me, renovation can take on many meanings, and I will get to be flexible with it as the year unfolds.

How about you?  Are you tired of the resolutions thing like I am?  How about a theme or word for the year that you can redefine and adapt as the year goes along?  Perhaps you already have one, or perhaps you can think of one to get your year rolling.  What type of year are you looking forward to?

At the time of this writing, we are in the middle of the holiday season.  Christmas is over, however the New Year has not yet arrived.  The last week or so has been wonderful seeing friends and family, and I am so fortunate to have so many people that care about my family and me.  One of the things we like to do as a family is attend our church’s Christmas Eve service, so that was a part of our holiday plans.

We had celebrated a family Christmas outside of town on the 23^rd, so we had to drive back home for Christmas Eve.  We made it home in time for the service, however, we quickly stopped at home and then went to the church.  On our way back, our toddler slept and did wake up about the time we got home, so we thought he would be ready to go to church.

Turns out, we made a rookie parenting mistake.  Our little boy had been sitting in a car seat for over two hours, plus he hadn’t had much of a snack or any food.  As we walked into the sanctuary, he started crying and was not interested in staying there.  I took him out of the sanctuary for a little bit, tried to come back in, and he was having none of it.  So, my son and I spent about 95% of the Christmas Eve service walking the hallways, playing, eating, and drinking.  Of course, after being in the car he needed to move around and burn some energy, which is part of being a toddler.

I was bummed to miss out on the service, but I realized that motherhood is full of moments like this.  Moments where the needs of your child come before what you want to do.  At that moment, my child needed to roam and play, and taking care of him is more important than being able to enjoy a church service.  So, it may not have been part of the plan, but it was what needed to happen for my family, and it didn’t spoil the holiday at all.

Since we are in the holiday season as I write this, I was busy the other day looking for my DVD of National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.  This movie is by far my favorite Christmas movie.  Some of the jokes never get old, and it is always good to laugh.  But, I could not find it anywhere.  I looked at where I thought all of the DVDs were, and after looking several times I still could not find it.  However, during this search I stumbled upon something else I had presumed had been lost forever.

A portable DVD player was something I had purchased several years ago, thinking I would use it on a very long flight from LA to Tahiti for our big honeymoon trip.  I don’t think it has ever been used, and it got stored away for future use.  Except that I could never find the darn thing.  Turns out it was in a bag on the same shelf as some of our DVDs that are in a storage bag.  How many times had I been in the cabinet and just assumed that bag also had DVDs in it?  Good grief.  However, as I searched for my DVD it occurred to me that I should look in this bag, and there it was.  I was so excited after finding this (right under my nose) after two years that not finding the original item was not such a big deal.

And of course this incident gave me a deeper insight.  How many times do we “look” for something only to find something else along the way?  Life is like that a lot I think.  This incident was another reminder to appreciate and observe not only the outcome but the journey to it.

P.S. – My husband did find the DVD in our basement in a place it usually wouldn’t be kept!