New York City

My husband and I recently went on a trip to New York City.  I had been there 10 years ago on a solo trip, but I was longing to get back again after really enjoying the city my first time there.  We got to experience so much on the trip, and depending on how I feel I may devote more than one blog entry to my experiences related to the trip.

Today, I want to focus on the idea of New York City and what it means to me.  When I was growing up, my perception was that New York City was very scary and very dangerous.  There would be no reason for me to go there.  But somehow, as I watched movies that took place there and songs that were sung about it, I was always attracted to this city.  Could it really be that bad?  I was left to wonder until I got to make a trip on my own.

As it turns out, New York City is probably one of the safest cities out there.  On my first visit and on this recent one, I felt safe most of the time.  And, while safety is important, the best part of New York City to me is how it makes you feel.  There is so much to see and do, and there is an energy there that you can not explain to anyone.  You have to go and feel it for yourself.  It is an energy that anything is possible.  Any idea is welcome.  Any creativity is celebrated.  That is what I love about New York City – a beautiful sense that this is where things happen.  If you ever get the chance, I encourage you to visit – I suspect that you will not be disappointed once you experience the energy and inspiration.

Girls Night Out

I recently went on a “Girls Night Out” with a couple of friends, that yes, were girls.  We met at a restaurant, had some food and drinks, and spent a few hours talking about what was going on in our lives.  It is always wonderful to catch up with friends, and there is something fun about having it be just other women.  I am not saying that is it always true, but it seems that being with only women makes the conversation different.  I think a lot of women can relate in ways that maybe men cannot.  My assumption is that the conversation for a group of all men is different as well.  Another aspect was that there were no children present, which led to less interruptions in the conversation.  Overall, I enjoyed being able to have an adult conversation with other people who understand the joys and challenges that being female can bring.

Now, everyone has different preferences, and there are certainly no rules about it, but I enjoy a girls night out.  I am sure there are also men who enjoy outings with other guys too.  It doesn’t have to have anything to do with sexism, it is just about getting to spend time with friends.  It was mentioned that we should do this at a certain frequency, so I am hoping that possibly monthly would be a place to start.   It doesn’t always have to be dinner and drinks either, but that is relatively easy to do.  Whatever it looks like, girls night out seems like a great way to stay in touch and enjoy some free time with others.

How about you?  Do you participate in any girls or guys night outs?  If so, what do you do?  If you don’t, does that idea appeal to you?  How could you make a girls or guys night out happen?

Self-Defense

Recently I had the chance to take a class related to armed self-defense.  In other words, the class was about fighting someone when you are also carrying a weapon.  I am by no means an expert in this area, and in fact I am pretty much a sponge when it comes to this information.  Shooting a gun, carrying a weapon, self-defense – these are things I have heard of but have not really made an effort to actually study.  I mean, it looks fairly straightforward on TV and the movies.  In my mind, my strategy has always been to “just kick my attacker in the crotch”, because that seemed like an effective idea.  Clearly you can see how naïve I have been about the whole self-defense thing.

While the class gave me many “a-ha!” moments, what my overall takeaway was is that there is a lot to learn about shooting guns, carrying any type of weapon, and self-defense.  There are many different strategies and considerations that come into play when defending yourself, and safety is important as well.  After all, you don’t want to end up being hurt by your own weapon if you can avoid it.

So, while I wouldn’t call it a new hobby, I have started diving deeper into self-defense.  Why?  Part of it is I want to exercise my right to bear arms.  Most of it, however, it to protect myself and/or my family if need be.  Hopefully that day will never come, but at this point in my life I think I would feel awful if something happened that I could have prevented by being more prepared to defend myself and my family.

How about you?  Have you ever wanted to learn more about self-defense?  I don’t want to scare people, because it isn’t necessarily the nicest thing to think about, but it can help to alleviate fear by being prepared.

Lonely vs. Being Alone

Although I love spending time with friends and family, I also love spending time alone.  I am a big reader, so that usually requires some alone time.  I also like to have the time to think and contemplate what is going on in the world and in my life.  In these situations, I make the choice to be alone, and I am happy to keep myself occupied.  This is very different from being lonely.

To me, loneliness is when people do not make the choice to be alone – in fact, they are lonely because they want to be around others but their circumstances do not allow that to happen.  Loneliness can negatively affect quality of life and there are even studies that suggest that loneliness can lead to an earlier death.  The mechanics of why that happens are probably not completely understood, but on an intuitive level I think we can understand why being around others is so important to our health and well being.

So, to me there is a difference.  Being alone is a choice.  Loneliness is something we wish to change.  How do you move away from loneliness?  It can be hard to do, but reaching out can be a first step.  Even if it is hard to leave your home, if you have the internet and/or a phone you can connect with others in those ways.  The internet is great for finding people who have similar interests as you do.  You can also possibly connect with neighbors and those that are close to where you live.  Churches are also a great place to find connection.  The good news is that there are lots of ways to connect.

For me, I am fortunate enough to have the problem of not always feeling like I have any alone time.  To create that I have to work with my loved ones to carve out that time.  Sometimes just a few hours on my own will recharge me for awhile, and I am so grateful that I get to make it happen.

Maybe you are lonely.  Maybe you need some alone time.  Maybe you have a great balance of this already – if so, good for you!  But, if you don’t, I encourage you to think about how you might be able to get to the level of connection that is right for you.

Eclipse

Recently there was a total eclipse that could be seen in the United States.  The type of eclipse was where the moon was in front of the sun, creating darkness for a few minutes during the middle part of the day.  I don’t watch a lot of news, but this seemed to be a big event for a lot of people.  Even members of my family took time off of work to experience it.  Personally, I wasn’t that interested in the event – I worked that day and even did boring things like go to the dentist.  The weather where I was located was also pretty cloudy, so it would have been challenging to see it.  However, I did watch some coverage on the news, and afterwards I was struck by a couple of things.

While I already noted that I wasn’t all that excited about the eclipse, what I really enjoyed seeing was all of the people who had come together to watch it.  It was so great to see people sharing a common experience and having it be a peaceful thing.  That is something you do not see on the news too often these days.

I also enjoyed the sense of wonder people had.  I’m not sure why I didn’t have that feeling, but I could relate to what people were feeling.  This was something bigger than all of us.  It was also a reminder of the fragility of our own humanity.  To paraphrase someone who was interviewed on TV, “How can you look at the eclipse and not think that God exists?”  I totally agreed with that, because there are things that have moved me in that way – my son being born at the top of the list.  My hope is that no matter what the eclipse was something positive and/or beautiful for you to reflect on.

White Coat Ceremony

Recently, I attended a “White Coat Ceremony” for a college of pharmacy class – in this case, the class of 2021.  When I started pharmacy school in 2002 I also attended one.  I am sure this is done for other professions and at other schools, but essentially it is a way to welcome students into the training of their chosen profession.  In the ones I have attended, each student is coated with a white lab jacket as a way to symbolize their entry into their studies.  It can be a very big moment for students.  For me, it was a way to say that all of my hard work and dedication were paying off – assuming I continued to work hard and study, I would be a pharmacist.  The competition, although still somewhat there, was lessened quite a bit as well.  Once you were in pharmacy school there was a strong support system to make sure you made it through, and I was happy to be accepted.

I have been to a white coat ceremony for the last three years, and I am always amazed at how inspiring it is for me.  I go because I mentor some of the pharmacy students, and it is wonderful to see how engaged and professional these students seem to be.  Going to this event gives me hope for our future health care providers.  Currently, I think a lot about our current health care system is broken, and my hope is that these students will pave the way for something better.  And, while I don’t think a pill is the answer to everything, I do think pharmacists can have a major impact on education and coaching patients.  The role of a pharmacist is expanding, and I look forward to seeing how it evolves in these future classes.  Overall, the white coat ceremony is a wonderful way to celebrate an important milestone in the life of a student.

You Think You Know…

Although this comes up from time to time, lately it seems there have been several people in our local area that we know that are in trouble with the law.  It is a weird feeling because until you hear about civil or criminal charges or allegations against someone, you just assume (or, at least I do) that the person is honestly and morally going about their days.  I’m not here to judge – that is certainly not my place.  But, it sometimes feels like you have been betrayed by the person.  What you thought you knew isn’t correct.

Have you experienced something like this before?  Maybe it wasn’t an example where the person ended up being sued or in jail, but maybe you found out someone wasn’t the person you thought they were.  I suspect that has happened to most of us, especially the older we are.  How did you feel?  What, if anything, did you do about it?  It can be hard to make these realizations, and I also wonder sometimes if people have any intent of deceiving others.  I am sure some do, but again, that probably starts getting into the judgment I don’t believe I should be doing.

Then, of course, if someone can do that to you, you can most certainly deceive others as well.  This is the part I feel I can do something about, or, at least my intentions can be transparent.  Unfortunately, we probably deceive others even if we don’t mean to do so.  But, I can choose to be as intentional and honest with others as I can.  If something worrisome is going on, I can be honest about it with others too.  All easier said than done, but my overall ask of myself is to be as real with others as I can, and I encourage you do to the same.

CD

Do you remember CDs (aka Compact Disks)?  Do you still own any?  Do you actually play any CDs that you still have?  I have to say that even though most music is digital these days, I am still a big fan of the CD.  I also really enjoy cassette tapes and records.  There is something about just holding the music in your hands that sometimes makes it seem more real.

Right now, I am taking some CDs that are new to me and ripping them onto my computer so I have a digital copy of them.  Why do I do this if I like CDs so much?  I do it because sometimes I will wear out CDs from playing them so much.  Also, it makes sense that the digital files aren’t as bulky to carry around when you are on the go.  Even though I have to go through this process to make my music more portable I still enjoy buying and playing CDs.

Doing this also makes me think of my dad.  Back when I was little, he took all of his records and recorded them onto cassette tapes.  After CDs came out, he essentially just bought the CD version of the records he had.  So, at one point, I remember my dad having 3 formats for the same music.  Instead of thinking it was a waste, I thought it was pretty cool.  This was a guy who loved music so much, and today I still share that love with him.  So, I will be buying CDs as long as I can.  But, I probably will also rip them, because even though I love the past, I still try to live in today.

How about you?  Do you have a favorite type of music format?  If so, what can you play and enjoy today?

Perfectionism

Would you describe yourself as a perfectionist?  Today, I would say that I am a recovering one.  I am not sure if it is anything I will ever completely be free of, but I like to think that my perfectionist tendencies have decreased and continue to do so.  And, while there are those who might think perfectionism is something to strive for, I am posting today about how dangerous I think perfectionism can be for your wellness.

To start off, what does it mean to be “perfect” anyway?  Who decides?  You?  The people in your life?  That is already a check mark against perfectionism – if everyone thinks it means something different it might be hard to attain.

Next, perfectionism can take up a lot of time and decrease productivity and efficiency.  If you are paying attention to every little detail and making it “perfect” in your mind, how do you ever get anything done?  Also, what else are you missing out on when you work on making something perfect?

Then, how does this process make you feel?  Do you get a sense of accomplishment?  Or, does it never seem good enough?

Lastly, if everything is perfect, do you learn anything from it?  A lot of times the greatest learning comes from mistakes we make along the way – not that we shouldn’t do our best, but there is a line between completing a task and trying to make it perfect.

Overall, to me it seems that perfectionism has many down sides, and I hope the questions above have you thinking that perfectionism is not the answer.  Give your best with what you have, but let go of that perfectionist ideal.  In reality, life is messy, and it is certainly not perfect for anyone.   Spend your time working on a life that is meaningful, messy, and real instead of one that is “perfect” in your mind.

The Plan

Are you a planner?  Do you enjoy looking ahead at the next day, week, month, or year and scheduling events or thinking about what lies ahead?

I am a very big planner.  As long as I can remember, I have always had a planner and/or calendar to keep track of assignments, projects, appointments, and meetings, among other things.  These days, my calendar is electronic and shared with my husband, and to-dos usually end up on a notebook I keep in my purse.  Regardless of how it gets done I secretly enjoy the sense of “keeping it together” with these items.

Lately, however, I am beginning to wonder if I spend too much time planning.  Is that possible?  I think so.  I am wondering how it may take me away from more important things, like family, friends, and just living life.  Maybe I am not missing any major things, but what small things am I missing?  Am I missing playing with my child?  Am I a missing a conversation with my spouse?  Again, probably smaller things, but still important things that make up a day…and a life.  My concern is that in planning so many things I forget to live in the moment.  I forget to just live.  So, one thing I would like to work on is spending less time planning and more time living.  And, I would encourage you to do the same.  Now, I understand some planning is necessary – bills have to be paid, food has to be obtained, children have to get to school, and so on.  What I am asking myself and others is to make sure we are not wasting precious time planning if it is not necessary.  Easier said than done, but I hope to make it a reality in my life.  How about you?  Do you feel the need to cut back on your planning?  What steps can you take today to live more and plan less?