Multitasking

This week it seems my brain has been on overdrive.  As a result, I have been trying to do multiple things all at once so I can “get things done”.  Does that sound familiar to anyone else?  Most of time I just do it and move on, but this week it seems to be different.  How?

All of this multitasking seems to have come with a major price tag on my sleep and health.  I just feel tired all of the time, and I have been sleeping in all week.  That means that I have been skipping my morning workout and downtime too.  I rationalize that I will multitask and work out and get some other things done during the day too, but that has not been happening.  Clearly, multitasking is not working for me this week, and in reality I need a better plan for dealing with my brain being on overdrive, no matter when that is.

If you read anything about multitasking, you know it is actually not a great thing.  Research has shown that your brain can only do so much, so if you try to focus on several things at once, each thing will not get your full attention.  I think a lot of us pride ourselves on our ability to multitask, but it really doesn’t do us much good.  The key seems to be the ability to focus on one thing until a certain stopping point or completion, and then move on to the next thing.  Easier said than done, of course, but this is where meditation can be helpful.  If you take the time and focus to meditate, that can help you focus on one thing in other parts of your day.  That is not the only answer to multitasking, but it is something I am working on to help me focus on one thing at a time.

How about you?  Do you feel like you are always multitasking?  How does it make you feel?  Would you rather not multitask?  If so, how can you begin to change your multitasking ways?

Abundance

This might be a short post today, which is funny considering that I wanted to touch on the concept of abundance.  However, lately it has been fairly obvious to me that I mostly think of my life from a place of scarcity – not enough time, not enough money, etc.  Is that even really true?  Or, is there any way to prove it?  What if I changed it around and thought that there was enough time, enough money, enough of everything?  Would I make different choices?  Would I spend my time differently?  Would I spend my money differently?

Now of course, I’m not necessarily supporting the idea that “everything will take care of itself” and the world will just give you everything that you need.  If you have ever dealt with mental illness or any other illness in any way I am sure that doesn’t ring true to you.  Life still has to be managed, but what I am talking about here is more of a mental outlook.  Thinking that there will be enough time to get something done.  Thinking that there will be a way to pay for something.  Thinking that the world and people are with you instead of against you.

Would it be better to have hope and then be disappointed, or be disappointed from the beginning?  The answer is up to you.

Without You

As I write this post, we are celebrating an important milestone in my family’s life.  I am not going to go into the details, but for me it is a very big deal and a very beautiful moment in time.  However, I am still at a point in grieving my dad that I can’t have a great moment without thinking about him.  I know he is here with us, but it is not in the way I want.  I wonder if I will ever have any big moments in my life again without having that tinge of sadness.  That feeling of how different and/or better it would be if he was physically here to see it.  That disappointment that a beautiful moment has to involve yet another time of grieving for a loss.

But on the flip side, do I truly want to have these moments without thinking about him?  Even though he is not physically here, does it still make a difference that I acknowledge him on these occasions?

I certainly don’t have the answers here, and what I do come up with may change from day to day.  However, today, it seems that thinking of Dad on big occasions is a good thing.  Because even though I may feel some sadness, every time it seems to get a little easier.  I know he is there, somewhere, but I am not so great at sensing beyond the concrete objects and people around me.  And, while I may not get to a point where there is absolutely no sadness, it is important to me that Dad is included in some way.  Besides, I would rather allow myself to feel and have these thoughts than try to ignore them.  So, here I am, grieving and celebrating at the same time, and actually, doing both simultaneously is probably a bigger part of life than I might think.

Temptation

Over the last few days it seems that I have had to try very hard to stay focused and on task.  It seems like there is temptation everywhere – the temptation to eat less healthy food, the temptation to not return emails, the temptation to sleep in and not exercise – it feels like almost everything is a conscious chore to make sure I am doing what I think is the right thing to do.  Will the world end if I eat poorly, ignore emails, and skip exercise?  Of course not, but these are important items to me that also potentially have long term gains and consequences.  While I may not feel like doing many of them lately, I know that deep down these are things I want to do.

I guess I could give myself credit for pretty much doing these things this week despite feeling the temptation not to do so.  Some days, that is more than enough.  But how do I ultimately overcome some of these temptations with automatically doing the right thing and not having to wrestle with the temptation itself?  Is that even possible?  Is temptation just a part of life?  I tend to think so, but unfortunately I do not have the answer to this one.

However, there are things I know I can do to make the temptations less of a presence in my day.  I can go to bed early enough that getting up early to exercise isn’t a big deal.  I can wear some or all of my workout clothes to bed so I can just get up and go.  I can keep unhealthy food out of our house.  Sure, all these things are easier said than done, but the nice part is I can plan for some temptations, because for me I know they will come my way.  How about you?  Can you anticipate some temptations that come your way?  Can you think of ways to help avoid them (assuming you want to avoid them)?  Temptations will probably be around most of the time, but there are ways to make it easier.

Soul Searching

These days, I can be a pretty restless woman.  I am constantly trying to figure out what is best for me and how I can get there.  Whether it is fair to or not, I use my dad’s passing as an excuse.  After his death I am constantly nagging about how life is too short not to do what you enjoy and love.  Of course, that doesn’t always work with paying the bills and enjoying a comfortable lifestyle.  I sometimes get frustrated that I can’t just be happy where I am, and I wonder if I am the only one who feels that way.

Lately, I can’t shake the constant battle cry in my head that I am not living my values.  My life does not truly align with what I find most important in this world.  I am not going to get into specific details at this point, but what I do know is that I am going to start doing some deeper soul searching to figure out what I want.  What is important to me?  What truly are my values?  What changes can I make in my life so that I am more fully living out those values?  These are some big questions that I honestly haven’t looked at for awhile, and luckily I now have the chance to do so.

Depending on where you are and what is happening in your life, maybe you don’t have the time to go through these questions.  However, perhaps you can look at one of them to make you more aware of what is important to you.  The answers to these questions can change over time as well, so it may also be a matter of redefining some values you already have.  Whatever you do, I hope you can make some time to reflect on some of these questions.

Stepping Out

Although it has now been awhile, I took some time off during the middle of one of my work days for a NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) event.  The event itself was great, and I actually felt like I had done something important during that time as well.  I am not going to get into the details of the event on this current post, but today I wanted to focus on how good it can be to step out of your regular routine (that is, assuming you have a regular routine).

For some reason, I always feel surprised when this happens, but in hindsight this almost always seems to be the case.  Breaking up your regular routine can be so rewarding.  For me, I think it is easy to feel like I am doing the same things day in and day out.  I have days where I wonder what might pop up and make it different, but I don’t always notice or take the time to determine what is special about each day.  I think stepping out of your regular routine can also change your perspective and open your mind.  Once I’ve done something different from the usual (vacation, take the day off, take a long lunch break, etc.) my world seems bigger and better from the very small focus I had before.  For me, it is so easy to get wrapped up in my own little world – changing things up and stepping outside my regular routine can help remind me that the world has so much more than what my brain will limit me to sometimes.

How about you?  Do you feel like you are doing the exact same things day in and day out?  Is there a way you can change up your routine every now and then or more frequently?  To me, breaking up a routine can be refreshing, and I encourage you to take the opportunity to see if doing so inspires you as well.

Courage

At this point in my life I am a very fortunate woman.  I have so many wonderful things going on, and I have the luxury to look deeper and think about how I can improve.  One area that has really been calling to me lately is how I need to actually live my values.  I think about the things I truly value and then look at how I live my life, and it doesn’t really seem to match up.  I’m not completely beating myself up for it, but I am wondering how I can be in more alignment with the two.  This is where courage comes in.

To really live my life and to really live my values I know I have to change some things that go against the status quo.  Honestly I live a very safe and pretty easy life, and I’m not sure that is ok.  What is a life that plays it safe?  Again, I am not completely upset by it, but I know I could be doing better.  Of course, here I start thinking about how I ultimately would like to see my life, and it is overwhelming.  How could I possibly shake up my life, especially when others are affected by it?  Do I have the courage to even more forward towards this more aligned life?

As scary as it may be, I am guessing I do have some amount of courage in me.  I have the power to move forward, and it doesn’t have to involve making big changes all of the sudden.  If I break it down, what small changes can I make today to get to where I want to be?  Luckily, I have been thinking about this for long enough that I do have some smaller ways that I can start with, and to me that is progress.  What about you?  Do you think you lack the courage to do something important to you?  If so, is there a way to break it down or take smaller steps to build up your courage?

A Beautiful Mess

Like most mornings that I wake up before everyone else in the house, I have a few minutes to look around and think about what the house looks like.  Honestly, I don’t spend too much time on it, but depending on who you ask, it certainly wouldn’t come close to a ”Better Homes and Gardens” or a “Martha Stewart Living” photo spread.  There are toys scattered everywhere, little crumbs on the floor wherever my son has had food, and there seems to be never-ending piles of stuff in many places.  And, to be realistic, the little messes my son makes are probably nothing compared to what he will come up with as a toddler.  Yes, I look at this almost every day, but I don’t get frustrated, and honestly that amazes me sometimes.  Why doesn’t this create some anxiety for me?

10 years ago my now daily scene would have bothered me – that was back when I lived on my own and could control everything – when and what I cleaned, plus I only had to clean up after myself.  Enter a husband and a child and that changes everything.  It’s not that I don’t completely care anymore, but there are things that are way more important to me now than keeping a spotless home.  We take care of the basics – clothes and dishes are clean, the house does get cleaned and organized on a regular basis, and we keep things sanitary.  You are just not going to see a lot of sparkle and shine at our place.

So what is more important to me?  Simple.  Living and being.  Spending time with my husband and son.  Being with them instead of obsessing over having a spotless, perfect home.  Who can live in a perfect home anyway?  When I look around our home in the morning, I either move on or smile, because it tells me that I live in a house with a lot of love and lot of laughter.  Where life is lived and not just made to look good.  It’s not a mess to me, but rather a beautiful testament to a family actually living and enjoying life.

The Weight

For any of you that know me well, you know that I have been battling with my weight for years now.  Growing up and through college and my early working life, I didn’t really give the matter too much thought.  Luckily, I was surrounded by friends and family who didn’t shame me for my weight, and I pretty much just did what I wanted around eating.  In my late 20s, though, I would go for my annual checkup and find that my blood pressure and cholesterol levels were getting worse, not to mention I felt more tired all of the time.  Once I started seeing myself at risk for health problems (and I was old enough to start seeing that my mortality was indeed a thing) I took action.  I have pretty much been exercising and dieting ever since.  Several times and in several ways I have lost around 85 pounds, but have gained some or most of it back.  My latest round of weight gain was due to my pregnancy, so I honestly don’t regret that, but there is still quite a bit of that weight that I would be fine with eliminating.

The good news for me is through all of this I have finally started to get real about what diet and exercise should be.  I have done the heavy exercising thing.  I have done the very few calories thing.  I have spent time avoiding my favorite foods and absolutely hating how deprived I felt.  Another element after having a baby is that I simply don’t have the time to go all out on something either.  So, what am I doing now?

In general, I am looking at my “diet” as simply what I eat – no starvation or deprivation.  I have learned about some great things out there and I have tried to apply them.  Some common themes are to eat real food and think about how added sugar can be an issue.  Now, I do try to avoid some things most of the time – bread, some dairy, soy, and some other things, but I do have something I crave every once in awhile.  For example, last night I had some ice cream, and it was delicious!  I am also trying to at least get 30 minutes of exercise or movement into my day at least 5 days a week.  It is nothing extreme, but there are definitely some benefits to making it happen.

How about you?  Do you even think about what you eat and if you exercise?  If not, is it something worth considering?  If you do think about it, do you think what you are doing is realistic and something you can do in the long run?  My hope is that you can find a healthy way to eat and move in ways that are realistic and beneficial.

One Percent

It seems like everywhere I look when it comes to personal development and/or work, I am being told to make SMART goals.  You might have heard of it – SMART goals are Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Realistic, and Time-Based.  Maybe it’s just me, but I find goal setting incredibly boring, especially at work.  It already blocks my creativity and thinking by having to follow someone else’s idea of how to set a goal.  Of course, there may be a time and place for them, and they probably do serve a purpose, but I am not a big fan of the SMART goals.

Something that I really have enjoyed hearing about recently is what I would call incremental change.  Here, the focus is on becoming and/or doing a little bit better as time goes on.  The thinking is that even with a 1 or 5 percent improvement you can see changes.  You may not measure it exactly as a certain percentage of improvement, but you know are doing better.  An example would be exercise.  Say you work out for 15 minutes a day 3 days a week – what if you increased that to 20 minutes a day 3 days a week?  Without having to do specific measurements, we understand that this change can lead to greater health.  Again, having measurable goals can be important to demonstrate change, but there are things that don’t require such rigid measurement to see an improvement.

I also like the idea of incremental change because it encourages me to think about what I can do now instead of being paralyzed by a big goal that seems overwhelming.  All of the little steps can add up to something big, so what little steps can you or I take today to show improvement?  Whether it is related to health, work, hobbies, etc., I encourage you to see what small changes you can make to improve your life.