As a newer mom, I have been bombarded by the question, “Can I really have it all?” Or, “can I really DO it all”? While in my opinion this can apply to both men and women, it seems that you hear about this more with women. Career, household, parenting, relationships, and individual pursuits…how can one possibly do it all, let alone do it well?
Of course, as with a lot of things in the media, the question seems to have two opposing answers: the first is that you can’t do it all, so you should decide what you want to focus on and ditch the rest. The other side is that you can do it all, but you must possess some kind of magical power to do so and do it fabulously. Well, that is my perspective anyway. (Disclaimer: this probably will not come as a surprise, but everything on my blog is solely my opinion and perspective – I also do not make any medical claims, so any advice I give on any topic you should decide to follow based on your own research and consultations.)
As the years go on, I realize that many things in life are not black and white. Most things lie on a continuum with a lot of gray in between the black and white. I think a woman’s question of being able to “do it all” includes a lot of gray as well. There are many ways to tackle this question, with no right or wrong answers.
So, ladies, and gentlemen, don’t struggle with this question. You will find a way to do what is important to you, even if it may not receive 100% of your effort. While this is not comforting for a lot of people, there is a peace that comes from accepting that there are only so many hours in a day and only so much can be done.
As you know, I am a pharmacist, which usually comes with a drive for perfection. I definitely fit that mold. It’s taken a baby to completely change my world, and it’s amazing how much more the phrase “good enough” has come into my thought process. Even before the baby, I was not very domestic, so realistically I wasn’t “doing it all” that well anyway.
However, I think I can “do it all”, but it becomes a matter of imperfection. I am making the choice to “do it all” because I want the variety and have an interest in all of these areas of life. But, I am accepting the fact that I probably won’t be a rockstar at any of it. I can be a “good enough” mother, a “good enough” employee, and a “good enough” wife. Taken altogether, I am a “good enough” woman with a rich life.
And, although I am sure I will have setbacks and struggles, I feel good about accepting my version of “doing it all”. It may not be pretty, it may not be perfect, but it gives me the chance to realize my life and my potential. I can look back on each day and know that I have done everything that I can and that I have actually lived a life. And there is no better feeling at the end of the day.