Suicide Prevention Month

Suicide Prevention Month, which is nationally recognized in the United States in September, is here again.  There is also National Suicide Prevention Week, which is September 4th through the 10th this year.  Lastly, there is World Suicide Prevention Day, which is always held on September 10th.  Since there are several events happening in a short amount of time, I am including links to provide further information about each event.  As you will see, there are a lot of groups and organizations that are involved in this important work.

National Suicide Prevention Month:
 
 
 
 
National Suicide Prevention Week: 
 
 
World Suicide Prevention Day: 
 
 
 
 
If you visit these links, you will find a wealth of information about suicide prevention as well as ways you can support the cause.  Your involvement can be as simple as a conversation or as in depth as being on the “front lines”, but the beauty is that any contribution you make can save a life or lives.  Whether you have thought about it or not, suicide touches all of us in some way, and it can also be related to many other issues.  By taking the time to learn and contribute to suicide prevention, you are affecting everyone.  Your role may not save the entire world, but it can save one person’s world, which is so important.  As we go through National Suicide Prevention Month, National Suicide Prevention Week, and World Suicide Prevention Day, my hope is that you are challenged to learn more about suicide prevention.  Then, after learning more, I hope you will consider finding ways to act and spread the message of suicide prevention.  
 
The best part of suicide prevention is that there is hope and that one day there will be no suicides.  Please join me in working towards that day.

10 Years

(This is what I posted on July 27, 2022, to my Facebook page.)

Today marks 10 years since I lost my dad to suicide.  10 years – one quarter of my life without him here on Earth.

I still think about him everyday and wonder what he would be like now.  At this point he would be just weeks away from turning 65, and I have no doubt retirement was going to come soon after that.  He would have loved retirement, but it was not meant to be.
 
Not only did retirement not happen, my dad has missed a lot in my life and in my family.  While I am so thankful that Derek and him got to spend some time together, he was gone less than a year after they first met.  My dad’s funeral was the day of our 1st year dating anniversary.  Dad missed our engagement, missed our wedding.  And perhaps, the hardest thing of all is he missed having his first (and currently only) grandson.  Dexter’s middle name, Hugh, is in honor of my dad, Dan Hugh Scott.
 
And those are some of the big things in my life.  He’s missed having two granddaughters.  He’s missed birthdays.  He’s missed anniversaries.  He’s missed holidays and celebrations.  I think we all get the point here.
 
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that my Overnight walk in New York City was in June and the Long Term Survivors of Suicide Loss Summit was just last week.  My soul needed those things, and God provided. 
 
The grief never, ever goes away, and I think that is true no matter what happens to your loved one.  You carry it with you every single day.  But in the cracks of your broken heart, more light is able to shine through as the days go on.
 
Something that hit me hard at the Summit last weekend was when David Kessler talked about finding meaning.  He said that the meaning was not found in your loved one’s death, but in what YOU do afterwards.  That gave me a tremendous amount of comfort, because my grief at this stage has been trying to figure out why my dad had to die so I could learn some profound life lessons.  That is an incredible price to pay, and I certainly don’t remember signing up for that deal.  I personally feel better thinking that my dad’s death was an event that doesn’t have to have some deep “it happened for a reason” bullshit.  He died, and it hurt badly.  The meaning is what I do as a result of what happened.  
 
So, what have I done?  Over the last 10 years I have done a lot of volunteering and a lot of helping.  I had done some things before Dad died, but I feel like that has increased over the years.  I have served on several boards, and continue to do so.  I donate blood regularly.  I donate my time.  I donate money.  And, while a lot of the time I focus on mental health, honestly all of the issues tie back to mental health anyway.  Some of my newer endeavors have centered around adoption, and we are now in the process of becoming a licensed foster home.  I also started working at NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) a few months ago, so mental health has now become my day job too.  
 
This hasn’t necessarily been a cohesive narrative, however I felt that this was an important day to reflect, and there is SO much to reflect on. 
 
I will also note that if you are struggling in any way, please know that you are not alone.  If you or someone you know is in crisis, you can call 988 for assistance.  You can also text the word HOME to 741741 for help as well.  One of those profound lessons is that life is so precious, and there is no shame in asking for help. 
 
To finish, I will say that today is also my mom’s birthday.  So, for the last 10 years, not only do we mourn Dad but we also celebrate her birthday.  As you can imagine, this is a day of some pretty mixed emotions.  But, as the years go on, I try to celebrate more than I mourn.  Even though we have had this major loss, there is also much to celebrate.  We have our grief and we have our joy.  I miss you Dad and Happy Birthday Mom.  I love you both.

Reflections on the Out of the Darkness Overnight Walk

Now that my trip to New York City has been over for a few weeks, I wanted to share some reflections on my 1st Out of the Darkness Overnight Walk.

My first reflection is that the whole event was surreal.  As I look back now, it almost feels like it didn’t even happen, but rather that I dreamed it.  Of course, I can’t tell you the last time I stayed up all night (even with a sick kid), so I was already tired from that part.  The walk measured in at 17.3 miles, and to me it was physically and mentally demanding.  There were many times I wanted to stop and go to bed, but luckily there were lots of people around me to help keep me motivated.  I also definitely had some leg and foot pain afterwards, and my feet were swollen for days.  However, I am proud to say I got it done.  I also want to give a special thanks to my good friend from college who walked with me the whole night. 
 
I was also surprised at the actual route of the walk, as I assumed we would spend a lot of time walking around Central Park and away from car traffic.  I was very wrong about that, as we walked around a lot of Manhattan and had to stop a lot (a lot!) at stoplights and intersections.  This made the walk take a lot longer.  We also were not allowed to start until about 30 minutes past the expected beginning, yet we were supposed to finish at the same pre-established time, so that was really stressful for me.  But again, I got it done.
 
Another reflection is that with everything going on around me, I didn’t really spend a lot of time thinking about my dad, although it did come up part of the time.  As I said already, it really all did feel kind of like a dream.
 
Now the question is: will I do it again?  Maybe.  I don’t think it has been long enough since this one to decide, but I will definitely consider it.  And, I do encourage anyone who is interested in trying it at least once to see what the experience is like.  It wasn’t perfect, however I am really proud of my accomplishment.

The Overnight

In a previous entry I talked about doing an overnight walk for suicide prevention.  This walk, also called the Out of the Darkness Overnight Walk, is held by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP).  As I write this, we are within weeks of the event, so I wanted to take some time to discuss the training and fundraising I have done as a part of this journey.

First of all, I want to say thank you to everyone who donated money towards my fundraising efforts.  There is a 1000 dollar minimum in order to even participate, and I was able to meet and even exceed that minimum.  In addition, I want to thank everyone who has supported me in ways that were not financial.   I appreciate everyone who has supported the cause of suicide prevention. 
 
In terms of the training, I am not even sure when I began, but I believe it was towards the last half of March or early April.  I have done some 10Ks recently, so I knew I could do 6 miles pretty easily, but I didn’t want to assume I could just do it all.  While the exact mileage can vary, The Overnight will be at least 16 miles long.  I started at 9 miles, then did 10 miles the week after that, and 11 miles the week after that.  After those 3 initial weeks I started doing every 2 weeks, and I have done 12 miles, 14 miles, and just finished doing 16 miles.  This experience has included a lot of lessons in foot care and what shoes and socks are going to work.  I have went through a lot of band-aids, tender tape, and Aleve, but I can say at this point I am prepared and feel confident about getting it done.  The walks themselves could also at times be mentally challenging, whether it was thinking about my dad, boredom, or just wanting to quit.  Luckily, though, I know the actual event will give me enough support to finish.
 
I have to say it is a nice feeling to know that I have “done the work” and now it is almost time to go do what I have worked so hard for.  I can’t wait to attend this event, and I look forward to sharing my experiences with you afterwards.

Spirituality and Suicide

In doing some research about suicide prevention I ran across an upcoming event in May that I wanted to share.  It is called the National Weekend of Prayer for Faith, Hope, and Life, and it will run from May 13th through the 15th.  The following information about the event is taken from https://theactionalliance.org/faith-hope-life/national-weekend-of-prayer

During the weekend of May 13-15, 2022, the National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention’s (Action Alliance) Faith.Hope.Life. campaign invites faith communities across the nation to come together to pray for those whose lives have been touched by suicide. Save the date for this coming year and join us for National Weekend of Prayer for Faith, Hope, & Life.

We encourage involvement this coming May, as well as all year round, by utilizing other Faith.Hope.Life. campaign resources aimed at helping faith communities across our nation play an active role in preventing suicide such as:

For those of you who are religious or have a spiritual practice, I encourage you to check out this webpage to learn more about the weekend and how you can participate.  As a Christian, I was glad to stumble upon this webpage.  Not only was I glad to see an official event, but I am planning to participate in some way.  As you can see there are several options available, from something as simple as a prayer to learning ways to personally help others.  If you are looking at participating in this weekend, how would you like to do so?  How can you pass this event along to others?  I look forward to hearing about what you might be planning to do.

Project 2025 Participation

In last month’s blog entry I referenced Project 2025, which is led by AFSP (American Foundation for Suicide Prevention).  For this month I would like to elaborate some more on the project by mentioning some of the groups that are also involved in the project.  Here is that list: 

National Commission on Correctional Healthcare: https://www.ncchc.org/
 
National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention: https://theactionalliance.org/
 
SafeSide Prevention: https://safesideprevention.com/
 
American College of Emergency Physicians: https://www.acep.org/
 
National Institute of Mental Health: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/
 
 
Education Development Center: https://www.edc.org/
 
U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs: https://www.va.gov/
 
 
Suicide Prevention Resource Center: https://www.sprc.org/
 
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: https://www.cdc.gov/
 
National Shooting Sports Foundation: https://www.nssf.org/
 
 
 
As you can see from the list, there are over a dozen organizations that are working with AFSP on Project 2025.  I find it inspiring that these groups are working together to provide suicide prevention education and investiagate ways to reduce suicide.  Do you recognize any of these organizations?  I assume that a lot of people have heard of the government organizations, such as the VA and the CDC, but there were definitely a few on the list that I did not recognize.  I encourage everyone to go through this group to see how each organization is working to prevent suicide.
 
I would also note that while Project 2025 is on my radar and includes some big groups, no doubt there are many other projects and initiatives out there with the aim and goal of suicide prevention.  These projects are important too, because every action, no matter how small, makes a difference and adds to a bigger change.  Are you aware of other suicide prevention projects?  If so, I would appreciate hearing about them.  You can comment on this post or email me at healthbyd@gmail.com with the information.

Project 2025

For this month’s post, I wanted to mention Project 2025 from the AFSP (American Foundation for Suicide Prevention).

This is taken directly from their website: https://project2025.afsp.org/
 
A nationwide initiative to reduce the annual rate of suicide in the U.S. 20 percent by 2025.
 
Our bold goal. 
 
Despite the fact that more is being done today to prevent suicide than at any other time in history, the rate of suicide continues to rise in the United States. Led by the largest suicide prevention organization in the United States, with guidance from the top minds in the field and dynamic data modeling, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention has determined the programs, policies and interventions that will prevent as many suicides as possible. Project 2025 is the collaborative effort to implement and scale these strategies nationwide.   
 
Together with its board of expert advisors, AFSP has examined:  
Who are we losing to suicide
How we were losing them
Where we are losing them
What we can do to save lives
 
Four critical areas have been identified to save the most lives in the shortest amount of time:  
Firearms
Healthcare Systems
Emergency Departments
Corrections Systems
 
Additional details can be found on the website, however this gives you an overview of the project and the goal.  Now that we are in 2022, 2025 isn’t too far away.  I am hopeful that we will meet this goal and then will move forward with an even bigger goal beyond this one.
 
What are your thoughts on Project 2025?  Do you agree with its goal, or do you think it could be bolder?  Do you agree with the four critical areas that they identified to target?  Do you support the work the project is doing?  What other areas do you think should be included?  Do you think other goals should have been included in Project 2025?  I welcome your comments and feedback.

Suicide Survivor Loss Photography

Most of us have heard of the saying “a picture says a thousand words”, and for the most part I think that rings true.  The expressions on a face, the background, the interactions between everyone or everything that is going on in the picture – these make pictures an expression that can be described in so many ways.  Colorful.  Dramatic.  Bold.  Raw.  Beautiful.  It is indeed challenging to describe pictures in only a few words. 

In my research into suicide prevention, I have found some articles and websites that have focused on suicide loss survivor photography.  These have included pictures of the suicide loss survivors themselves as well as suicide loss survivors holding a picture of someone they lost to suicide.  What I have seen and read so far has been very powerful, and the pictures convey so much emotion.  I highly recommend searching for “suicide loss survivor photography” and checking it out for yourself. 

In addition to checking out the suicide loss survivor photography that is already out there, I want to invite you to email me at healthbyd@gmail.com for a similar project.  If you are a suicide loss survivor, please send me pictures of yourself either on your own or with a picture of someone you have lost to suicide.  Include as much or as little detail as you want to share with the world, and my plan is to share these on my webpage.  I am also hoping to take some of the pictures myself and add over time.  If you have any questions about the project, please feel free to email me at the same address that was already mentioned earlier.

While suicide loss survivor photography can be somber, I think there is real depth that can help aid in the awareness and prevention of suicide.  I look forward to working with everyone on this project.

Rethinking Suicide

In the last month I read a really interesting book about suicide prevention and would like to share some of the highlights with you for this month’s blog entry.  The book is “Rethinking Suicide: Why Prevention Fails, and How We Can Do Better” by Craig J. Bryan.

While the book is worth reading for more of the details, I wanted to point out a few major themes.  The first is that mental illness does not likely explain the vast majority of suicide attempts and/or completions.  While some resources will suggest that up to 90% of suicides are traced to a mental illness (either before the suicide or presumed after the suicide), that number may be much lower.  The author highlights several cases of someone attempting or dying by suicide where the post-event analysis cannot find any diagnosable mental illness that would be correlated to the suicidal event.  This makes suicide prevention more challenging, of course, because there is plenty of evidence to suggest that suicide doesn’t require some type of mental illness.  It is theorized that suicide is the result of many different factors coming together all at once, and unfortunately we haven’t figured out all of the numerous factors that can play into suicide. 
 
The second major theme is that we should start to look at suicide prevention more from a systems perspective instead of an individual one.  The example that the author gives as a model is automobile safety.  Instead of focusing solely on individual factors, we have improved safety features on cars and have laws related to mandatory seat belt use for everyone.  A systems approach to suicide prevention mentioned by the author included “means restriction”, with examples such as locking up guns and engineering that prevents people from jumping off bridges. 
 
There is so much great information in this book, and I have only scratched the surface.  I encourage you to read it and see if it challenges you to “rethink suicide”.

Suicide Loss Survivor Day

In my last entry, I mentioned Suicide Loss Survivor Day, which is held on the Saturday before Thanksgiving in the United States.  For this month’s entry, I wanted to give you a personal glimpse of my journey as a suicide loss survivor. 

As you might suspect, being a suicide loss survivor is not a club that anyone wants to be a part of, but I have considered myself a ‘member’ for over 10 years now.  Before that time, I had heard of some people being touched by suicide, but it hadn’t really hit close to home.  Then, in March of 2011 my cousin Craig died by suicide, and it was a total shock.  His son Aaron also died by suicide in March of 2014, which was devastating as well.  However, the loss that affected me the most was when my dad died by suicide on July 27, 2012 – a day that split my life into two parts: life before dad’s suicide and life after.
 
A short blog post cannot possibly convey the myriad of emotions that I have been though as a suicide loss survivor, and my journey is unique from anyone else.  A checklist won’t also give my experience justice, but here are some of the major themes:
 
1.A tremendous amount of guilt for not preventing what would eventually happen with my dad…and trying to reconcile that
 
2.Fear, terror, and trauma for trying to relive what could have happened in my dad’s last moments – a torture that I still don’t understand why it comes up
 
3.So much sadness – sadness for what my dad suffered through, and now sadness at what he is missing here on Earth
 
4.Feeling that there is a lot of meaningless stuff in our world compared to losing a loved one so tragically – this has made it hard for me to work at my job(s) sometimes
 
5.Wondering how to keep moving forward in a world that feels so broken 
 
So…it’s not pretty stuff.  It’s hard.  It’s challenging.  But yet, I keep moving forward.  Taking a worldly view, at this point things have went pretty well, but I will never get over this loss.  However, I can still hope and move forward, and that is what I have chosen to do.  The loss is always with me, but the hope is there too.  And, that’s what a survivor does, right?  We work with the loss to create the hope.