Moving Forward

If you have read my blog in the past, you might remember that at first I focused on mental health for several years.  Then for over the last year or so, I have been all over the place, without a consistent theme to my blog entries.  Now, I am ready to change it up again.  After some thought, prayer, discussion, and inspiration, I have finally decided on a path that I would like to focus on for now.  So, without further ado, I want to introduce you to my new blog theme: suicide prevention. 

I know that in some blog entries I talked about moving away from mental health, however over the last year I have found that it keeps coming back into my thoughts and life.  This time around I am going to narrow down mental health and focus on suicide prevention, which is still a pretty huge topic in and of itself.  And, as a lot of you are aware, I have a family history of suicide, and I know quite a few suicide loss survivors.  Although suicide prevention is not a glamarous topic, there is so much to learn and understand about it.  There are myths to be debunked.  There is research to share.  And, most importantly, there are possible solutions and ideas that can give everyone hope that suicide prevention can and will happen.  I hope you will join me as I head into this more focused path. 
 
As I write this entry, it is only days from marking 9 years from my dad dying by suicide, so it only makes sense that I begin my focus on suicide prevention now.  Be on the lookout for updates to this website, my Facebook page, and hopefully new content.  My hope is that I can help to educate others about suicide prevention, and I look forward to starting in this new direction.

Reunited…and It Was OK

In the last few weeks I had the opportunity to do something I hadn’t done in over a year – fly on an airplane.  I know I will sound pretty darn privileged when I say this, but until last year, I had taken flying for granted.  I didn’t necessarily fly monthly, but I was definitely flying multiple times a year.  At least enough for me to think I flew often enough to know the process pretty well.  Fast forward to the last few weeks, and I was actually kind of nervous to get back on a plane because it had seemed so long.  With that feeling, however, I knew that the sooner I got on a plane the better.  No sense delaying something that gets me to all of the fun places I want to go! 
 
As I went to the airport, went through security, waited for my flight, and boarded the plane, I realized that not much had changed.  Well, there is the whole mask wearing thing, but that shouldn’t be surprising to many people.  Other than that, there was the usual good and bad.  Bad – delays and the dumb excuses that came with them, the cramped nature of boarding and unboarding, and all of us carrying too much stuff.  Good – lots of time to read, time to relax, and getting somewhere way faster than driving.  As silly as it sounds, riding a plane felt to me like the old cliche of riding a bicycle – once you have learned how to do it you will be able to get back on a bike at any stage of life and be able to ride one.  Being on my flights felt no different after that first take off and while we were in the air.  It was good to be reunited…but it was ok.

No Shelf Control

As we enter into June, we are almost halfway through 2021.  For this month, I thought I would share a list of books that I have read so far this year that I have really enjoyed.  In no particular order: 

 
Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know by Adam Grant
 
Longing for Paris: One Woman’s Search for Joy, Beauty, and Adventure – Right Where She Is by Sarah Mae
 
20/20 Bible Study Book – Seen. Chosen. Sent. by Christine Caine 
 
I Am a Leader: When Women Discover the Joy of Their Calling by Angie Ward
 
Ready or Not: 30-Day Discovery for Families Growing Through Foster Care and Adoption by Pam Parish
 
Huddle: How Women Unlock Their Collective Power by Brooke Baldwin
 
Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity by David Allen 
 
Seculosity: How Career, Parenting, Technology, Food, Politics, and Romance Became Our New Religion and What to Do About It by David Zahl
 
We Should All Be Millionaires: A Woman’s Guide to Earning More, Building Wealth, and Gaining Economic Power by Rachel Rodgers
 
Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family by Paul David Tripp 
 
Jesus Feminist:  An Invitation to Revisit the Bible’s View of Women by Sarah Bessey 
 
Self-Awareness for Health Care Professionals by David Tipton 
 
Fear Gone Wild: A Story of Mental Illness, Suicide, and Hope Through Loss by Kayla Stoecklein
 
As you can see, I included the full titles to give you a better idea about the topic of each book.  Have any of you heard of or read any of these books already?  If so, I would love to hear from you and get your thoughts about them.  Also, if you are interested in hearing more about a book please let me know.  I know this list is unique to me, but I hope that this might give you some ideas for future reading material.  I know I plan to keep reading a lot more this year and would enjoy hearing what you might be reading too!

The Grand Canyon

Within the last week I was at the Grand Canyon.  This trip marks the 5th time I have been there, and I have to say that for me, it never gets old.  I don’t know if there is anything I can say about it that hasn’t been said before, but to me it has become a spiritual experience, and I will tell you why I say that.

It’s become almost a cliche to say that pictures do not do the Grand Canyon justice.  While I absolutely agree with that cliche, I can just imagine the eyerolls of people who have not been there, and I get it.  There have been many experiences in my life where if you have not had something similar you just simply won’t “get it”.  On the flip side, I know there are many experiences I have not had so I don’t truly “get” those either.  Anyway, the first time I saw the Grand Canyon, it was many moments of awe and wonder.  Now, I hope everyone has had that experience in one way or another – a feeling of being a part of something bigger or of feeling connected with others.  While it can sometimes be overwhelming, for most people it is a positive emotion – one that people like to repeat if they can.  For me, seeing the Grand Canyon for the first time was also spiritual in that I could not imagine how it wasn’t created by God.  My first visit was when I was in college, and during that time I was doubting religion and thinking that it was mutually exclusive of the math and science I was learning in pharmacy school.  This experience was a powerful way to make me think twice about that doubt.
 
How about you?  What moments of wonder and awe have you had in your life?  Are they connected to a certain time?  A certain place?  I wish everyone the joy that wonder and awe can bring.

What’s Next

At the time of writing this blog post I have passed the halfway mark of being 39 years old.  That means that 40 is just around the corner, and while I had not really imagined being 40 it will be here whether I like it or not.  I have started to think about it, and now I have decided that I want to celebrate the whole year of being 40.  22 is also my favorite number, so I have decided I should celebrate 2022 as well!  Here are some potential ideas I have (it probably goes without saying that some of these are pandemic dependent, but I said it): 

1.A $40 for 40 campaign where I give $40 to 40 charities that I support 
 
2.Going on a cruise of some type
 
3.Having a party with a band or DJ
 
4.In addition to 3, going dancing somewhere
 
5.Writing a non-fiction book 
 
I could go on, however I think you get the idea.  This is really exciting to me because it gives me something to look forward to as opposed to something I dread.
 
Speaking of looking forward, I want to also share that I am ready to start taking consultations at PharmToTable, which is a group of pharmacists who are working in Functional Medicine.  To learn more and to schedule, you can go here: https://dawngrittmannpharmtotablenewpatient.azova.com/
 
Note that if you do not want to commit to anything just yet you can sign up for a FREE 15 minute consultation with me to learn more.  Even if you do not have any specific symptoms to address, functional medicine can also be used to help optimize your health and well-being.
 
Thank you for reading as I continue to bounce around on my blog content.  Unlike my plans above, I have yet to find the clarity I seek as to the focus of my blog.  However, I am sure it will come eventually, and when it does, I will share that information with all of you.  Take care, and I hope to hear from you regarding a Functional Medicine consult!

Think Again

Today I want to briefly touch on a book that I recently read.  I think it ties in nicely with my recent blog posts of changing focus, and I hope it gives you some food for thought as well.  The book is called “Think Again” by Adam Grant.  To me, the overall theme of the book is that “unlearning” or challenging what we know is becoming more important in our age of rapid change.  Information and situations can change quickly, and we need to consider whether what we already know will be useful.  The book considers thinking again on three levels – as an individual, when working with others, and for the larger community.  I really enjoyed this book and I am really fascinated by the concepts of “unlearning” and challenging myself on what I think I know.  I also appreciate that we should consider how we can get others and our communities to think again about issues and ideas.  Isn’t it wonderful to think that we don’t all have to be “set in our ways”?  That we can change our minds?  

And, from a personal level, I have been rethinking a lot of things – home, work, job, family, hobbies, projects, focus, religion – you name it, I have either changed something or thought again about what I knew.  Especially when it comes to thinking more about children touched by foster care and adoption, I have challenged many thoughts I have had about the process.  And, as I continue to learn more, I hope to share what my current thinking is, with the understanding that it will likely change over time.
 
How about you?  What do you think about unlearning and challenging what you know?  Do you think it is possible to get others to challenge what they think they know?  How about whole communities?  

The Smudge

Several days ago I got a pedicure.  I am a big fan of pedicures, and I get them regularly.  Definitely a privilege that not everyone gets or wants to have.

Because I am such a fan, I take my pedicures very seriously.  I wait a long time to let my polish dry, and I look like I am walking around on eggshells for hours afterwards so I don’t smudge or ruin the beautiful job done by the nail technician.  Unfortunately, sometimes I bump into something and smudge a nail, and it absolutely annoys the heck out of me.  I become distracted by it and if I have that color of polish at home I will usually touch it up.  I mostly don’t even bother doing a manicure because I cannot stand the smudges and chips that happen on my fingernails – at least with my toenails I can keep the polish on them for weeks at a time if I stay vigilant during the first 12 to 24 hours after my pedicure.
 
A few minutes ago I looked down at my newly polished toenails, only to discover a huge smudge on one of my toenails.  It was so obvious I could see it even in the dim light of the room.  And, I am pretty sure I don’t have any color to touch it up.  I am not going to lie – I am so frustrated right now.  I tried so hard to keep something beautiful, but I have failed. 
 
Of course, when I think about it, this is yet another metaphor for life.  We try so hard to make something look good or perfect or beautiful, but then it gets messed up.  Our lives have some nicely decorated parts, but there are also the messes.  So, while I don’t like what I perceive to be an imperfection, I will have to live with it.  Because, like life, we take the beauty and the smudges and continue to move forward.

Year in Review – 2020

It would make sense that in late December and early January one would reflect on the past year.  I have done a lot of reflection on 2020, but at the moment, I am not sure how much I feel like writing about it.  When 2020 is discussed in the history books (or devices, or whatever way you get information in the future), the big headline will no doubt be the pandemic that has caused so much loss in so many ways.  I think we all feel those losses, and for me personally there is also a sense of guilt that I would have anything good to share this year in spite of all of the suffering and grief.  But, although I have felt a lot of loss, I have also had a lot of wonderful things enter my life this year.  My blog posts throughout the year have touched on both the good and the bad, and I will refer to those for more details about my life and what has been important to me in 2020.

In general, I would have to say that 2020 has been a challenging year for me in terms of all aspects of my health, including physical, mental, social, emotional, spiritual, and financial health.  I have gained weight, but happily I have lost more than I have gained.  I have worried way more than I should, but I have also learned a lot.  I did not get to see friends very much in person, but I have been able to connect more online.  I have went through some serious lows during our move and looking for a job, but I have had some amazing highs in settling into our new home and in completing our home study for adoption.  I felt my faith fading, but I have found a new church that has inspired me.  I have worried about money, but I have not really had to stress about paying the bills.  As you can see, there is a pattern here.  For pretty much every low, there has been a high.  And for everything in between, that evens the rest of my experience.  In this year of pronounced low points, I have been fortunate enough to still be able to find a lot of the high ones.  I hope that you have as well and will continue to do so.  If not, I hope that those high points will start to come your way in 2021.

The Beginning of My Family’s Journey to Adoption

*This month I am posting an article I wrote for potential publication on another blog.  I hope you enjoy it!

There are many ways to be a pharmacist mom.  You may have biological children, or you may have a marriage that included welcoming step-children into your life.  Each pharmacist mom’s story is unique, and I would like to share the beginning of my family’s journey to adoption.

I met my husband Derek in 2011, and we were married in 2015.  It did not take long for us to start our family, as our son Dexter was born exactly two weeks before our first wedding anniversary.  I have endometriosis, so I was amazed at how quickly I got pregnant.  Other than some moderate morning sickness, the pregnancy was also uneventful, which I greatly appreciated.

We waited about a year to try for a second child, and since then I have struggled with secondary infertility.  And, while we have considered procedures such as IUI and IVF, we currently have decided that it is not the right path for us.  We continue to optimize our health as much as possible to help me to get pregnant again should that happen, but in the last year we have focused our efforts on adoption.

After a year or so of talking and thinking about it, my husband and I decided that we were going to start the process of domestic infant adoption.  This was in the fall of 2019, and we lived in Iowa at the time.  We worked with an adoption agent to get our home study completed, but we chose not to work with an agency.  We also advertised on several adoption websites.  Unfortunately, we did not find any matches, but we also moved to Arizona in the summer of 2020, so we didn’t have a lot of time for a match to be found.

Since we moved to a different state, we have had to start the home study process again since each state has their own requirements.  And, while we have completed as much as we can on our end, we now wait for our home study to be written and then we will need to be certified by a judge.  We anticipate that we will be able to start looking at potential matches in March 2021.  Another big change is that we are looking to adopt from foster care, after deciding that we wanted to expand our range for a child or children to adopt.

It is my hope that I will continue to share my family’s journey to adoption with my fellow pharmacist moms.  I would also love to hear from you.  I have and continue to learn so much about foster care and adoption, so if you have any questions please feel free to reach out.  Also, perhaps you have already fostered or adopted or both and have some wisdom to share with all of us.  I would definitely welcome that wisdom.  Overall, I want to encourage pharmacist moms to spend some time thinking about adoption and foster care and how they might advocate or help in this arena.  As we reach the end of National Adoption Month (which is November of every year), I look forward to my family’s journey and to discussing yet another meaningful path to motherhood.

Pulling Away

I have written this blog for years now.  I used to write a lot more frequently, but lately I have slowed the pace and have also started to feel like I do not have as much to say about mental health as I used to.  Not that there still isn’t a lot more to say, but I am feeling limited in my feelings and research.  I do not think this is either good or bad, but that is what I am experiencing.

With all of the changes that have happened to me and my family this year, I am starting to feel pulled in a different direction.  We are in the process of completing a home study for adopting from foster care, and lately the topics of foster care, adoption, and children in general are all I can think about.  With my background in health care, I have also been thinking a lot about children and medication.  I am pretty ignorant on this subject, but I find myself very worried why we seem to put kids on a lot of medications, especially for behavioral or mental health issues.  Is that really the best answer?  Do we not have the resources to dig deeper and try to treat conditions in different ways?  I understand that I come at this with a lot of judgment, so that is why I want to learn more and try to get a better idea of what is happening.  
 
So, while I might be steering away from mental health, I may not go too far out.  I am deeply concerned about mental health in our children, particularly those in more vulnerable situations, even though by definition all children are vulnerable.  I don’t like how we seem to run to drugging our children so quickly, but again, I could be totally wrong here.  This might be easy for me to say because I have not had to experience it.  If you have any information or thoughts on this topic please feel free to comment and share your feedback.