Suicide Loss Survivor Day

In my last entry, I mentioned Suicide Loss Survivor Day, which is held on the Saturday before Thanksgiving in the United States.  For this month’s entry, I wanted to give you a personal glimpse of my journey as a suicide loss survivor. 

As you might suspect, being a suicide loss survivor is not a club that anyone wants to be a part of, but I have considered myself a ‘member’ for over 10 years now.  Before that time, I had heard of some people being touched by suicide, but it hadn’t really hit close to home.  Then, in March of 2011 my cousin Craig died by suicide, and it was a total shock.  His son Aaron also died by suicide in March of 2014, which was devastating as well.  However, the loss that affected me the most was when my dad died by suicide on July 27, 2012 – a day that split my life into two parts: life before dad’s suicide and life after.
 
A short blog post cannot possibly convey the myriad of emotions that I have been though as a suicide loss survivor, and my journey is unique from anyone else.  A checklist won’t also give my experience justice, but here are some of the major themes:
 
1.A tremendous amount of guilt for not preventing what would eventually happen with my dad…and trying to reconcile that
 
2.Fear, terror, and trauma for trying to relive what could have happened in my dad’s last moments – a torture that I still don’t understand why it comes up
 
3.So much sadness – sadness for what my dad suffered through, and now sadness at what he is missing here on Earth
 
4.Feeling that there is a lot of meaningless stuff in our world compared to losing a loved one so tragically – this has made it hard for me to work at my job(s) sometimes
 
5.Wondering how to keep moving forward in a world that feels so broken 
 
So…it’s not pretty stuff.  It’s hard.  It’s challenging.  But yet, I keep moving forward.  Taking a worldly view, at this point things have went pretty well, but I will never get over this loss.  However, I can still hope and move forward, and that is what I have chosen to do.  The loss is always with me, but the hope is there too.  And, that’s what a survivor does, right?  We work with the loss to create the hope.

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

While I have discussed this organization in previous posts, I wanted to revisit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and talk about some of the work that they do for suicide prevention.

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (afsp.org) was established in 1987 with the mission to “save lives and bring hope to those affected by suicide”.  The organization focuses on funding scientific research, educating the public about mental health and suicide prevention, adovcating for public policies in mental health and suicide prevention, and supporting survivors of suicide loss and those affected by suicide.  AFSP has local chapters in all 50 states as well as a national office in New York City and a public policy office in Washington, D.C.

A couple of major events that I have known about from AFSP include International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day and the AFSP Out of the Darkness Walks.

International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day occurs on the Saturday before Thanksgiving in the United States – many cities host an event for suicide loss survivors to come together, and more information can be found here:

https://afsp.org/international-survivors-of-suicide-loss-day

There are also community, campus, and overnight Out of the Darkness Walks – for more information about each one, check out this link:

https://supporting.afsp.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=cms.page&id=1370&language=en

Personally, I have attended a few International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day events and found them to be emotional and impactful, yet also full of hope.  I was also planning to participate in an Out of the Darkness Overnight Walk in 2020, however it has been postponed until at least 2022.

In addition to these events, AFSP’s website contains a variety of resources on both suicide loss and suicide prevention.  I encourage you to visit their website and learn about the variety of resources they provide as well as ways to act for suicide prevention.

World Mental Health Day and Mental Illness Awareness Week

For September’s blog post, I talked about National Suicide Prevention Month, National Suicide Prevention Week, and World Suicide Prevention Day.  As we move into October, I want to highlight some other observances that are related to suicide prevention.  One major note here, however:  ANYONE can have suicidal thoughts and be impacted by suicide.  Although some suicides can be linked to a diagnosed mental illness, that should not be the go-to assumption.  As we think about mental health as a whole, connections can be made between mental health and suicide, so that is why I am choosing to highlight some of these events that go beyond suicide prevention.

 
World Mental Health Day is held every year on October 10th and has been around since the 1990s.  Several different organizations promote it, and I present a few of them here.
 
The World Health Organization (WHO) recognizes October 10th as World Mental Health Day, and this year’s theme is: “Mental health care for all: let’s make it a reality”.  You can find more information here: 
 
 
The World Federation for Mental Health also observes October 10th as World Mental Health Day, and their theme is: “Mental Health in an Unequal World”.  More information can be found here: 
 
 
In addition to World Mental Health Day, NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) is observing Mental Illness Awareness Week, including the following dates: 
 
  • Tuesday Oct. 5: National Day of Prayer for Mental Illness Recovery and Understanding
  • Thursday Oct. 7: National Depression Screening Day
  • Saturday Oct. 9: NAMIWalks United Day of Hope
  • Sunday Oct. 10: World Mental Health Day
You can learn more about this week and these different days by going to: 
 
 
I hope you will take a look at these websites and learn more about both mental illness and mental health.
 
Like I said last month about suicide prevention, the best part about this information is that there is hope that one day there will be no suicides or mental illness.  Please join me in working towards that day.

Suicide Prevention Month

Although I didn’t necessarily plan it this way, it is fortunate for me that I start focusing my blog on suicide prevention right around Suicide Prevention Month, which is nationally recoginized in the United States in September.  There is also National Suicide Prevention Week, which is September 5th through the 11th this year.  Lastly, there is World Suicide Prevention Day, which is always held on September 10th.  Since there are several events happening in a short amount of time, I am including links to provide further information about each event.

 
National Suicide Prevention Month:
 
 
 
 
National Suicide Prevention Week: 
 
 
 
World Suicide Prevention Day: 
 
 
If you visit these links, you will find a wealth of information about suicide prevention as well as ways you can support the cause.  Your involvement can be as simple as a conversation or as in depth as being on the “front lines”, but the beauty is that any contribution you make can save a life or lives.  Whether you have thought about it or not, suicide touches all of us in some way, and it can also be related to many other issues.  By taking the time to learn and contribute to suicide prevention, you are affecting everyone.  Your role may not save the entire world, but it can save one person’s world, which is so important.  As we go through National Suicide Prevention Month, National Suicide Prevention Week, and World Suicide Prevention Day, my hope is that you are challenged to learn more about suicide prevention.  Then, after learning more, I hope you will consider finding ways to act and spread the message of suicide prevention.  
 
The best part of suicide prevention is that there is hope and that one day there will be no suicides.  Please join me in working towards that day.

Moving Forward

If you have read my blog in the past, you might remember that at first I focused on mental health for several years.  Then for over the last year or so, I have been all over the place, without a consistent theme to my blog entries.  Now, I am ready to change it up again.  After some thought, prayer, discussion, and inspiration, I have finally decided on a path that I would like to focus on for now.  So, without further ado, I want to introduce you to my new blog theme: suicide prevention. 

I know that in some blog entries I talked about moving away from mental health, however over the last year I have found that it keeps coming back into my thoughts and life.  This time around I am going to narrow down mental health and focus on suicide prevention, which is still a pretty huge topic in and of itself.  And, as a lot of you are aware, I have a family history of suicide, and I know quite a few suicide loss survivors.  Although suicide prevention is not a glamarous topic, there is so much to learn and understand about it.  There are myths to be debunked.  There is research to share.  And, most importantly, there are possible solutions and ideas that can give everyone hope that suicide prevention can and will happen.  I hope you will join me as I head into this more focused path. 
 
As I write this entry, it is only days from marking 9 years from my dad dying by suicide, so it only makes sense that I begin my focus on suicide prevention now.  Be on the lookout for updates to this website, my Facebook page, and hopefully new content.  My hope is that I can help to educate others about suicide prevention, and I look forward to starting in this new direction.

Reunited…and It Was OK

In the last few weeks I had the opportunity to do something I hadn’t done in over a year – fly on an airplane.  I know I will sound pretty darn privileged when I say this, but until last year, I had taken flying for granted.  I didn’t necessarily fly monthly, but I was definitely flying multiple times a year.  At least enough for me to think I flew often enough to know the process pretty well.  Fast forward to the last few weeks, and I was actually kind of nervous to get back on a plane because it had seemed so long.  With that feeling, however, I knew that the sooner I got on a plane the better.  No sense delaying something that gets me to all of the fun places I want to go! 
 
As I went to the airport, went through security, waited for my flight, and boarded the plane, I realized that not much had changed.  Well, there is the whole mask wearing thing, but that shouldn’t be surprising to many people.  Other than that, there was the usual good and bad.  Bad – delays and the dumb excuses that came with them, the cramped nature of boarding and unboarding, and all of us carrying too much stuff.  Good – lots of time to read, time to relax, and getting somewhere way faster than driving.  As silly as it sounds, riding a plane felt to me like the old cliche of riding a bicycle – once you have learned how to do it you will be able to get back on a bike at any stage of life and be able to ride one.  Being on my flights felt no different after that first take off and while we were in the air.  It was good to be reunited…but it was ok.

No Shelf Control

As we enter into June, we are almost halfway through 2021.  For this month, I thought I would share a list of books that I have read so far this year that I have really enjoyed.  In no particular order: 

 
Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know by Adam Grant
 
Longing for Paris: One Woman’s Search for Joy, Beauty, and Adventure – Right Where She Is by Sarah Mae
 
20/20 Bible Study Book – Seen. Chosen. Sent. by Christine Caine 
 
I Am a Leader: When Women Discover the Joy of Their Calling by Angie Ward
 
Ready or Not: 30-Day Discovery for Families Growing Through Foster Care and Adoption by Pam Parish
 
Huddle: How Women Unlock Their Collective Power by Brooke Baldwin
 
Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity by David Allen 
 
Seculosity: How Career, Parenting, Technology, Food, Politics, and Romance Became Our New Religion and What to Do About It by David Zahl
 
We Should All Be Millionaires: A Woman’s Guide to Earning More, Building Wealth, and Gaining Economic Power by Rachel Rodgers
 
Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family by Paul David Tripp 
 
Jesus Feminist:  An Invitation to Revisit the Bible’s View of Women by Sarah Bessey 
 
Self-Awareness for Health Care Professionals by David Tipton 
 
Fear Gone Wild: A Story of Mental Illness, Suicide, and Hope Through Loss by Kayla Stoecklein
 
As you can see, I included the full titles to give you a better idea about the topic of each book.  Have any of you heard of or read any of these books already?  If so, I would love to hear from you and get your thoughts about them.  Also, if you are interested in hearing more about a book please let me know.  I know this list is unique to me, but I hope that this might give you some ideas for future reading material.  I know I plan to keep reading a lot more this year and would enjoy hearing what you might be reading too!

The Grand Canyon

Within the last week I was at the Grand Canyon.  This trip marks the 5th time I have been there, and I have to say that for me, it never gets old.  I don’t know if there is anything I can say about it that hasn’t been said before, but to me it has become a spiritual experience, and I will tell you why I say that.

It’s become almost a cliche to say that pictures do not do the Grand Canyon justice.  While I absolutely agree with that cliche, I can just imagine the eyerolls of people who have not been there, and I get it.  There have been many experiences in my life where if you have not had something similar you just simply won’t “get it”.  On the flip side, I know there are many experiences I have not had so I don’t truly “get” those either.  Anyway, the first time I saw the Grand Canyon, it was many moments of awe and wonder.  Now, I hope everyone has had that experience in one way or another – a feeling of being a part of something bigger or of feeling connected with others.  While it can sometimes be overwhelming, for most people it is a positive emotion – one that people like to repeat if they can.  For me, seeing the Grand Canyon for the first time was also spiritual in that I could not imagine how it wasn’t created by God.  My first visit was when I was in college, and during that time I was doubting religion and thinking that it was mutually exclusive of the math and science I was learning in pharmacy school.  This experience was a powerful way to make me think twice about that doubt.
 
How about you?  What moments of wonder and awe have you had in your life?  Are they connected to a certain time?  A certain place?  I wish everyone the joy that wonder and awe can bring.

What’s Next

At the time of writing this blog post I have passed the halfway mark of being 39 years old.  That means that 40 is just around the corner, and while I had not really imagined being 40 it will be here whether I like it or not.  I have started to think about it, and now I have decided that I want to celebrate the whole year of being 40.  22 is also my favorite number, so I have decided I should celebrate 2022 as well!  Here are some potential ideas I have (it probably goes without saying that some of these are pandemic dependent, but I said it): 

1.A $40 for 40 campaign where I give $40 to 40 charities that I support 
 
2.Going on a cruise of some type
 
3.Having a party with a band or DJ
 
4.In addition to 3, going dancing somewhere
 
5.Writing a non-fiction book 
 
I could go on, however I think you get the idea.  This is really exciting to me because it gives me something to look forward to as opposed to something I dread.
 
Speaking of looking forward, I want to also share that I am ready to start taking consultations at PharmToTable, which is a group of pharmacists who are working in Functional Medicine.  To learn more and to schedule, you can go here: https://dawngrittmannpharmtotablenewpatient.azova.com/
 
Note that if you do not want to commit to anything just yet you can sign up for a FREE 15 minute consultation with me to learn more.  Even if you do not have any specific symptoms to address, functional medicine can also be used to help optimize your health and well-being.
 
Thank you for reading as I continue to bounce around on my blog content.  Unlike my plans above, I have yet to find the clarity I seek as to the focus of my blog.  However, I am sure it will come eventually, and when it does, I will share that information with all of you.  Take care, and I hope to hear from you regarding a Functional Medicine consult!

Think Again

Today I want to briefly touch on a book that I recently read.  I think it ties in nicely with my recent blog posts of changing focus, and I hope it gives you some food for thought as well.  The book is called “Think Again” by Adam Grant.  To me, the overall theme of the book is that “unlearning” or challenging what we know is becoming more important in our age of rapid change.  Information and situations can change quickly, and we need to consider whether what we already know will be useful.  The book considers thinking again on three levels – as an individual, when working with others, and for the larger community.  I really enjoyed this book and I am really fascinated by the concepts of “unlearning” and challenging myself on what I think I know.  I also appreciate that we should consider how we can get others and our communities to think again about issues and ideas.  Isn’t it wonderful to think that we don’t all have to be “set in our ways”?  That we can change our minds?  

And, from a personal level, I have been rethinking a lot of things – home, work, job, family, hobbies, projects, focus, religion – you name it, I have either changed something or thought again about what I knew.  Especially when it comes to thinking more about children touched by foster care and adoption, I have challenged many thoughts I have had about the process.  And, as I continue to learn more, I hope to share what my current thinking is, with the understanding that it will likely change over time.
 
How about you?  What do you think about unlearning and challenging what you know?  Do you think it is possible to get others to challenge what they think they know?  How about whole communities?