Dr. Dawn, The Suicide Prevention Pharmacist

Last week was the beginning of Lent, which is a 40 day period before Easter.  Traditionally, during this time people will give up something.  Some big examples that I have heard of include a certain food, or staying off of a social media site, such as Facebook.  Being the hit or miss Christian that I sometimes am, I have had years where I have chosen to participate and years that I have not even thought about it.  This year, though, on Mardi Gras (the day before Lent), it came to me – this year I would give up undeserved blame.  Let’s explore this a little bit more.

When I really started to think about it, I realized how much blame is in my life.  And it is not only me blaming other people, situations, or things.  I blame myself for many, many things – things I can’t control, and things that are undeserved on my part.  Of course, I am not the only one who does this.  Then, when thinking about mental health, there is a ton of blame found in this area.  Again, much of it undeserved.  Can anyone or anything be blamed for mental health?  I do not like to use the word never, but I would say blame should almost never come up when it comes to mental health.  I do not think anyone should be blamed if they have a mental illness – and for well-intentioned friends and family of someone with a mental illness, those people should not be blamed either.

What would my world look like if I gave up underserved blame?  What would the entire world look like if we all gave up undeserved blame?  What would the world look like if personal blame was completely eliminated from any discussions about mental illness?  I am hoping to learn more in the next 40 days.

As we begin a new year, I wanted to reflect on 2019 and look ahead to 2020.  Specifically, I wanted to share my “word of the year” for 2020, because at this time that sounds way more fun than making resolutions.  I am not a big fan of resolutions anyway.  Honestly, I can’t remember if I have done this before, but for 2020, my word is going to be: connection.  Let me tell you why.

As we wrap up 2019, I am concerned by how empty and alone I feel.  That probably sounds unlikely coming from me and knowing that my life is full of many wonderful and meaningful things.  Truly, I am a very fortunate woman.  But, when I say empty and alone, it isn’t all about one particular person, place, or thing.  That is where “connection” comes into play.  I feel like I have lost connections to people, places, things, activities, goals, values, etc. that are important to me.  How did I get so lost?  When did life become just getting things checked off of a list? 

So, for me, I am going to work on creating or improving the connections in my life.  And, the beauty of this is that it doesn’t mean I have to work harder or more.  It may mean I let go of some things or change how I interact with someone or something.  Connection can be liberating, and I am looking forward to a more meaningful and purposeful year.

When shifting this topic to mental health in general, connection is key.  In fact, I know of at least one book that discusses how depression can be linked to lost connections to nature, relationships, meaningful work, etc.  When we think about our mental well-being, connections are a factor in how we feel.  As we head into 2020, I encourage you to look into your connections and how they may be affecting your mental health.  You might be surprised to see connections between your connections.

As I write this entry, we are almost at 7 years since my dad became a victim of suicide.  It has almost become a tradition that I reflect on this every year, and this time is no exception.  Let’s get to it.

As with every year that has passed since my dad’s death, there have been some major life events that have went on without him.  Thinking about my life alone, I have switched jobs, and I just had a surgery.  I have also went on several trips and have gotten to see and learn more about the world.  Casting the net even wider, my dad also has a new granddaughter this year, and I can only imagine how much he would have loved holding his third grandchild.

There are the big events, and then there are all the little things that make up our lives.  There has been a lot of laughter and some tears.  Some disagreements, and a lot of hugs and kisses.  Some days have been beautiful, others sad, but many times I catch myself wondering what my dad would have said if he had been here to see it all.

If there is anything different about this year, it is how this day has sort of snuck up on me this time – usually, once July hits I am thinking about his suicide more, but that hasn’t been the case.  I don’t think that changes much, but it is different.  I also seem to be in a phase where I can’t stop listening to Phil Collins, an artist that I listened to a lot with my dad.  I guess listening to Phil Collins makes me think I am hanging out with my dad again.

Overall, and as I would have suspected, 7 years does not make the grief any less.  It still sucks, and I will continue to carry that sadness with me.  I miss you Dad, and I love you.

Today I want to touch on something I have experienced, but until now I did not know it had terminology associated with it.  The topic is autonomous sensory meridian response, also known as ASMR.  While doing a quick internet search, I felt like I did not come up with a lot of reputable or scientific articles on the subject.  However, it is out in the world, so I will do my best to give you what I understand about ASMR.

According to Wikipedia, ASMR is an experience categorized by a static-like or tingling sensation on the skin that typically begins on the scalp and makes its way down the back of the neck and the upper spine.  ASMR includes the subjective experience of a “low-grade euphoria “.  It is commonly triggered by specific auditory or visual stimuli, and less commonly by intentional attention control.  Some examples of ASMR “triggers” include:  a whispering voice, quiet, repetitive sounds such as turning book pages, tapping nails onto surfaces such as plastic or wood, and hand movements.  For those of you familiar with the reference, a prime example to me is listening to the painter Bob Ross talk while he paints on his old TV shows.

To tie ASMR to mental health, there are thoughts that ASMR can be helpful for depression and general mental well-being, among other things.  Again, as I noted above, there is not a lot of scientific evidence to support ASMR at this time, but based on experiences (and the millions of ASMR videos online), it appears that ASMR can provide some benefit.

How about you?  Are you familiar with ASMR?  Do you relate to the description of ASMR that I discussed above?  I know this topic has me intrigued, and I look forward to learning more about its benefits and applications.

In today’s entry, I want to talk about another mental health organization that is out there making a difference.  The organization is called Stamp Out Stigma, and most of my information comes from their website at stampoutstigma.com

Their mission includes the following: challenging all of us to change the shape of mental health and addiction dialogue from a whisper to a conversation, recognizing the high prevalence of mental illness and substance use disorders, and reeducating ourselves, family, and friends on the truths of mental illness and addiction.  When these things happen we can help to reduce stigma.

At Stamp Out Stigma, the goal is to change perceptions, reduce stigma, and encourage people to talk about mental illness and substance use disorders.  Some of the ways they do this are through taking a pledge, sharing stories, showing support, and educating people.

In the pledge, The Three Rs are discussed – recognize, reeducate, and reduce.  Stamp Out Stigma also has wristbands that you can order and wear to show support.  In addition, there are videos, resources, and links that can help educate visitors to the website.  Overall, it is an easy website to explore and learn more about mental illness and substance use disorders.

In my opinion, I am glad to see Stamp Out Stigma, and it is interesting to note there are several big companies that support it as well.  While the number of those who have taken the pledge currently seems small to me, it is a start and I anticipate that the number will grow at a faster rate than it has in the past. 

How about you?  Have you heard of Stamp Out Stigma?  Are you interested in learning more?  Will you consider taking their pledge?  I have already taken the pledge, and I hope that all of you will consider doing the same.       

Hello everyone – I wanted to let you know that I have decided to change the frequency of my posts yet again.  Instead of weekly, I am now going to post monthly.  While I certainly have not written all there is to know about mental health, I feel like this pace will be more sustainable and interesting for me and those that read my blog.  Posts will not necessarily be the same day of the month, but there should be at least one entry a month.  Thank you for your support and for reading my blog. 

As I sit down to write today’s entry, I am having a serious lack of motivation.  I feel like I have a lot of other things to get to, and my heart is not entirely into the focus and concentration I need to create this post.

Of course, writing is not the only thing that can get discouraging at times.  When I think about all of the issues related to mental health, stigma, and how it intersects with other parts of life, I can lose my drive and passion for the topic.  Sometimes it gets old.  Sometimes it gets boring.  Sometimes I wish I didn’t feel like I had to say the same thing over and over again.  However, I am only human, and we can’t always be driven every moment of every day.

Yet here I am.  I may not be writing much of substance today, but I am here.  I am moving forward.  I am trying to share something relevant.  I am being real.  I am sharing the fact that being passionate or caring about something is not always easy.  This is probably not news to anyone, but it is good to have that reminder every once in awhile.  Essentially, I am persisting.

So, while today is definitely not my best day when it comes to advocating for mental health, I am still here.  Sometimes that is all I can do, and that is ok.  And, as far as I can see, I will continue to be here, writing and speaking and doing whatever I can to help others.  My hope is that while every day is different, I still have something to contribute, however small that may be.

How about you?  Are you passionate about mental health?  Does the topic ever get boring to you?  Tiring?  Overwhelming?  How do you persist in the fight against stigma?